How much daydreaming should I stop?

[Kate]

Hello,

So okay, first a little background.  I have been maladaptive daydreaming since I can remember. The most destructive side of my habit was the amount of time I would spend - when I was young whole weekends -  listening to music and running about either outside or in the living-room daydreaming. And that problem I was in danger in falling over and hurting myself - I even did it once in my tiny bedroom. 

I managed recently to go cold turkey  and have stopped listening to music and MDDing, for almost seven days. I have made a plan to help address other issues that may be causing my MDDing, lack of sleep, anxiety, possible ADD etc. 

I have still noticed myself slipping in daydreams and starting to pace and gesture. I sort of managed to stop them, and I've not considered a break in my cold turkey. 

I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts? Is it cheating? I know when I'm starting to fall into pacing and stop myself after a while, or manage to continue the daydream whilst doing something else. I've always considered the music + MDDing worse because it becomes all consuming. 

Plus, I don't know if I can totally turn off daydreaming or if I want too. Just the most weird, destructive, well maladaptive part.  I am a natural writer and I make up stories anyway. 

Losing the music + MDDing has made things much better, I don't daydream as much generally, I've managed to keep a diary, to practice an instrument (I find I can't MDD because I'm concentrating on the notes and sounding good), to keep up a check list of good habits etc. 

Thoughts? 

[Valkyrie]

I would not consider it "cheating" when you drift into DD because stopping cold turkey is pretty hard. Good for you that you have discovered your triggers! If you feel pretty confident after a few months or so without DD you could try some small DD and see if you can control it! Just a few rambling thoughts of mine :).  

[Kate]

Hi Valkyrie,

Thank you! That means a lot. I've managed to make it to 30 days without doing what I consider a full blown music session but I'm starting to MDD without music - I did it once in my bedroom and  this evening I've been breaking into a run walking in the garden. :(

I wondering if its because I stopped doing my checklist of distractions each day - playing an instrument, reading and journaling. Or because I've been getting tired, or just feeling down. 

What do you do to control it?

Sorry to unload! I'm just hoping this doesn't ruin my record... I was hoping to make it to six months. 

Valkyrie said:

I would not consider it "cheating" when you drift into DD because stopping cold turkey is pretty hard. Good for you that you have discovered your triggers! If you feel pretty confident after a few months or so without DD you could try some small DD and see if you can control it! Just a few rambling thoughts of mine :).  

[Ulaan Gom]

I would definitely try to put in my full effort into curbing my MDDing as much as possible. The fact that you were able to go cold turkey on MDD is impressive, I still have yet to figure out how to do that. Besides the positive habits, what else helped you go cold turkey? I'm just speculating, but I think the best long-term approach to dealing with MDD might be to try to improve your real life as much as possible. I've always noticed that I tend to daydream for longer and more frequently when my life isn't too interesting or especially when I have major troubles going on in my life. Maybe make it a challenge to try to set some compelling goals for the year: things that if you were to achieve would make your life much more meaningful and enjoyable. Even better, try working on finding a special purpose and meaning to your life. The passion for your real life could really curb the desire to daydream. Good luck!

[Stasia OBrien]

I think that something like this takes time and you cannot expect to just stop completely overnight and never, ever do it occasionally ever again.

So, don't be too hard on yourself...I would honestly set small goals...for example, start with less hours per day or, only every other day or, only every 3 or 4 days, and then every month decrease it even more.

It's more manageable that way and you'll probably be more successful in the long-term.

[Yolandi Wells]

Thats a great idea Stasia

[Kate]

To be honest it isn't completely full old turkey. It's more a case of I stopped listening to music - my biggest trigger - and doing MDD sessions to music (at my computer, in the garden and in my bedroom - these being the three sitautions I end up doing it the most). However, I have listened to the occasional song - and I have still kept MDDing, even running a bit n the garden. So it's not complete cold turkey - I've just really reduced what I considered the worst behaviours to almost nothing. I still MDD. :( 

Ulaan Gom said:

I would definitely try to put in my full effort into curbing my MDDing as much as possible. The fact that you were able to go cold turkey on MDD is impressive, I still have yet to figure out how to do that. Besides the positive habits, what else helped you go cold turkey? I'm just speculating, but I think the best long-term approach to dealing with MDD might be to try to improve your real life as much as possible. I've always noticed that I tend to daydream for longer and more frequently when my life isn't too interesting or especially when I have major troubles going on in my life. Maybe make it a challenge to try to set some compelling goals for the year: things that if you were to achieve would make your life much more meaningful and enjoyable. Even better, try working on finding a special purpose and meaning to your life. The passion for your real life could really curb the desire to daydream. Good luck!

[Kate]

And yes I agree, I think finding productive useful things to do, generally improving my mood and my life would help. :)

Ulaan Gom said:

I would definitely try to put in my full effort into curbing my MDDing as much as possible. The fact that you were able to go cold turkey on MDD is impressive, I still have yet to figure out how to do that. Besides the positive habits, what else helped you go cold turkey? I'm just speculating, but I think the best long-term approach to dealing with MDD might be to try to improve your real life as much as possible. I've always noticed that I tend to daydream for longer and more frequently when my life isn't too interesting or especially when I have major troubles going on in my life. Maybe make it a challenge to try to set some compelling goals for the year: things that if you were to achieve would make your life much more meaningful and enjoyable. Even better, try working on finding a special purpose and meaning to your life. The passion for your real life could really curb the desire to daydream. Good luck!