Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

My story.

I always knew I daydreamt more than most people. I just never knew there were other people out there like me. Ive been searching online about daydreaming and I just now discovered MD. When I was about 12, my parents got divorced. It was a really tragic time and it changed me greatly. My mom had been cheating on my dad, and she would actually take us to the guy's house like it was normal. She was upset that i didnt like him even though she was the one tearing our family apart by cheating on my dad with this man. I remember one night, my parents got into this HUGE arguement and my dad almost killed himself. I vividly remember laying in bed hearing him scream, "there is no god. There is no heaven." Then he took a shotgun out of the hall closet, ran outside, and shot it off. For a brief moment, I thought my father was dead. But he didnt kill himself. She shot the gun off in a different direction. I layed awake crying that whole night. A few months later, my parents got into another huge fight. This time it was physical. I woke up in the middle of the night to my mom screaming "HELP!" I ran out to the livingroom and my dad had her pinned to the floor, screaming at her and calling her names. My mom told me to call 911. My dad threw the phone so I couldnt do it. I dontblame my father for what he did. But i am angry to this day at my mother for cheating on him. Anyway, ever since the divorce i have been daydreaming almost all the time. At night, i'll lay in bed listening to my ipod, imagining i'm in another world, with my friends sometimes sometimes with people i make up. I talk to them about my problems and I become someone i cant be in real life. I become perfect. Its gotten to the point now where i pace back and forth listening to music, pretending people are there. I walk past them and imagine theyre admiring me, and talking to me. I have converstations with them, even though I know no ones actually there. Its so addicting. I feel like i HAVE to do it to de-stress. Once, my sister came in the room and saw me talking to no one. She looked at me like I was crazy. Sometimes I feel crazy.. I just wish I could tell my friends and family but I know they wouldnt believe me..

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Permalink Reply by littleschrodinger'scat on November 13, 2011 at 3:33pm

I am sorry things have been so rough for you. I hope they have gotten better now.

Your story sounds quite alot like mine. I had always had incredibly intricate daydreams that got a bit in the way of my socialization, but didn't really cause much damage to me. When I was eleven (approximately) my parents marriage started to fall apart. They fought constantly, occassionally these fights got physical. There was only one that was very bad. It started out like usual, but then my dad locked himself in my parent's bedroom with a box of letters too and from a man my mother was in contact with. My mother started shaking the door (violently) and screaming that she hated him. The way she was yelling and shaking the door at the same time made it sound like he was either shaking or strangling her (I was standing at the foot of the stairs so I could not actually see what was going on). This obviously frightened me so, I took my cat and hid in a closet with him for half an hour. I eventually came out when the fight had calmed down a bit. It picked back up again quickly, and worse. My mom told me to go back upstairs. I was attempting to get my cat out from under the table ( this was a vintage table, so it had the two massive legs in the center of the table, with all of the lion's feet sticking off of it, so it was very difficult ) when my dad slammed a chair against it (right where I was under the table). I had a panic attack and sat rocking with my head in my knees for 2-3 minutes and spent the rest of the day on the roof (somehow my parents are still together, though). That is when my daydreams really became a big problem.

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Permalink Reply by Riley on November 13, 2011 at 4:25pm

Thank you for your reply, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. That must of been terrifying
I do believe trauma definitely causes it. Im just so grateful to of found this site where I can relate to others. I know Im not alone now. Things stillget bad sometimes. My mother has always been very emotionally abusive. My dad can be the same way sometimes. My daydreams do interfere with my social life sometimes. Music is the biggest trigger for me. What do you usually daydream about?

littleschrodinger'scat said:

I am sorry things have been so rough for you. I hope they have gotten better now.

Your story sounds quite alot like mine. I had always had incredibly intricate daydreams that got a bit in the way of my socialization, but didn't really cause much damage to me. When I was eleven (approximately) my parents marriage started to fall apart. They fought constantly, occassionally these fights got physical. There was only one that was very bad. It started out like usual, but then my dad locked himself in my parent's bedroom with a box of letters too and from a man my mother was in contact with. My mother started shaking the door (violently) and screaming that she hated him. The way she was yelling and shaking the door at the same time made it sound like he was either shaking or strangling her (I was standing at the foot of the stairs so I could not actually see what was going on). This obviously frightened me so, I took my cat and hid in a closet with him for half an hour. I eventually came out when the fight had calmed down a bit. It picked back up again quickly, and worse. My mom told me to go back upstairs. I was attempting to get my cat out from under the table ( this was a vintage table, so it had the two massive legs in the center of the table, with all of the lion's feet sticking off of it, so it was very difficult ) when my dad slammed a chair against it (right where I was under the table). I had a panic attack and sat rocking with my head in my knees for 2-3 minutes and spent the rest of the day on the roof (somehow my parents are still together, though). That is when my daydreams really became a big problem.

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Permalink Reply by littleschrodinger'scat on November 13, 2011 at 6:39pm

I am also so grateful to have found this site. For the longest time I have thought I must be insane but I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I spent hours a day just searching for what could possibly be wrong with me and when I found MD it was like a lightbulb went off.

I'm sorry that you still are going through that. My parents don't really fight anymore, but my dad and I have alot of difficulties. I have alot of emotional issues but since I am not diagnosed with anything, he thinks I am faking and thinks that scolding me is going to solve everything (it just makes it worse).

Music is also my biggest trigger. Going on long car rides as well (I guess that could be because of the music, though).

I am going to try not to post too much about it (once I get started it is so hard to stop ). I daydream about an underwater country I invented called Chiasm (the world out of the water is pretty much how it is here, but it is still a different world.Sort of). The Outer World's government made a terrible mistake that made it almost completely inhabitable so they "euthanize" about half of their population and send the rest to Chiasm [Chiasm was constructed in thhe 1700's by a group of "higher beings" in secret (they are still humans, just much more evolved and intelligence. Chiasm is inhabited solely by higher beings, until the government sends the others there. )]. My characters basically fight insane beings called Cherubs (who are failed expiriments) and attempt to murder the rulers of Chiasm so they can escape back to The Outer World.

What do you daydream about?

Riley said:

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Permalink Reply by Riley on November 14, 2011 at 4:09am

Oh wow. That is very interesting. I know what you mean about long car rides. I ride the bus to school in the mornings and i usually daydream the whole time. I dont have too many friends and alot of people always say how quiet I am.. I guess my daydreaming is my own way of making friends. I usually imagine real life people that i know, or celebrities. Itll be people like the friends i do have, and i'll have long conversations of things i wish i could say to them. In my daydreams, i'm someone i wish i could be in real life. I'm outgoing, and popular, and admired. I do daydream about this little girl who follows me around and i guess she is like a younger version of myself. Shes really comforting.

littleschrodinger'scat said:

I am also so grateful to have found this site. For the longest time I have thought I must be insane but I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I spent hours a day just searching for what could possibly be wrong with me and when I found MD it was like a lightbulb went off.

I'm sorry that you still are going through that. My parents don't really fight anymore, but my dad and I have alot of difficulties. I have alot of emotional issues but since I am not diagnosed with anything, he thinks I am faking and thinks that scolding me is going to solve everything (it just makes it worse).

Music is also my biggest trigger. Going on long car rides as well (I guess that could be because of the music, though).

I am going to try not to post too much about it (once I get started it is so hard to stop ). I daydream about an underwater country I invented called Chiasm (the world out of the water is pretty much how it is here, but it is still a different world.Sort of). The Outer World's government made a terrible mistake that made it almost completely inhabitable so they "euthanize" about half of their population and send the rest to Chiasm [Chiasm was constructed in thhe 1700's by a group of "higher beings" in secret (they are still humans, just much more evolved and intelligence. Chiasm is inhabited solely by higher beings, until the government sends the others there. )]. My characters basically fight insane beings called Cherubs (who are failed expiriments) and attempt to murder the rulers of Chiasm so they can escape back to The Outer World.

What do you daydream about?

Riley said:

Thank you for your reply, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. That must of been terrifying
I do believe trauma definitely causes it. Im just so grateful to of found this site where I can relate to others. I know Im not alone now. Things stillget bad sometimes. My mother has always been very emotionally abusive. My dad can be the same way sometimes. My daydreams do interfere with my social life sometimes. Music is the biggest trigger for me. What do you usually daydream about?

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Permalink Reply by Riley on November 14, 2011 at 4:09am

I am also so grateful to have found this site. For the longest time I have thought I must be insane but I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I spent hours a day just searching for what could possibly be wrong with me and when I found MD it was like a lightbulb went off.

I'm sorry that you still are going through that. My parents don't really fight anymore, but my dad and I have alot of difficulties. I have alot of emotional issues but since I am not diagnosed with anything, he thinks I am faking and thinks that scolding me is going to solve everything (it just makes it worse).

Music is also my biggest trigger. Going on long car rides as well (I guess that could be because of the music, though).

I am going to try not to post too much about it (once I get started it is so hard to stop ). I daydream about an underwater country I invented called Chiasm (the world out of the water is pretty much how it is here, but it is still a different world.Sort of). The Outer World's government made a terrible mistake that made it almost completely inhabitable so they "euthanize" about half of their population and send the rest to Chiasm [Chiasm was constructed in thhe 1700's by a group of "higher beings" in secret (they are still humans, just much more evolved and intelligence. Chiasm is inhabited solely by higher beings, until the government sends the others there. )]. My characters basically fight insane beings called Cherubs (who are failed expiriments) and attempt to murder the rulers of Chiasm so they can escape back to The Outer World.

What do you daydream about?

Riley said:

Thank you for your reply, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. That must of been terrifying
I do believe trauma definitely causes it. Im just so grateful to of found this site where I can relate to others. I know Im not alone now. Things stillget bad sometimes. My mother has always been very emotionally abusive. My dad can be the same way sometimes. My daydreams do interfere with my social life sometimes. Music is the biggest trigger for me. What do you usually daydream about?

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Permalink Reply by 1nmiirc70dne4 on November 15, 2011 at 1:16am

I do pace a lot and pretend that the person I am at that particular moment (I'm never in my daydreams. I didn't make up the charcters but I changed there whole personality and there story life. I got the charcters from a book series) and I'm talking to another person. I listen to my MP3 about 4 hours each day and have no funtion at sschool at all. I'm just always daydreaming. My daydreams were sadly caused by one of my best friends (I never have told her though) she called me names during the end of 5th grade and sent me horribly mean emials. I cried a lot. But then I found a book series that I REALLY liked so I just decided to live there life. Though that charechters I chose from the series were all boys...there's three. (Lionel, Ryan, and Judd). My friend did say she was sorry at the beggining of 6th grade. (Well emailed. She had gone to another school) but the daydreams never went away. They only got worse and worse. I mumble stuff while I pace and once I was walking to the lunch tables and I when I came up to the table my (only) friend said "who are you talking to?" I didn't know what she ment at first but then I realized I had mumbled and did my weird facial expressions in public! It was horrible!

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Permalink Reply by Riley on November 16, 2011 at 6:24am

I listen to my ipod most of the day too. It really influences my daydreams. Its almost like an addiction. And I'm so sorry for what happened to you. No one deserves to be made fun of that way. I've noticed that I have been doing it more and more in school, and people stare at me alot..