Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I constantly freeze
I stopped being active with maladaptive daydreaming years back. I have crucial responsibilities, try to stay away and concentrate, but notice that I suddenly wonder off and my eyes go dazed for a minute or so. This happens when I'm chill and during an stress-free time. Family and friends have made remarks that I look like my mind is somewhere else. I'm not sure though, it's more like I zone out. I'm trying to seek employment, but so afraid that when I start a new gig, someone will notice my eyes! Maybe even my frozen state. Unless the job is remote.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Ballantyne on
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You know what, you're right. I can change this around! Who am I kidding. I can!
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Last night I was so embarrassed. I was watching a Netflix movie with my dad. He had to get do something in the backyard. I began to drift off, and stopped concentrating on the dialogue. My dad came back and saw he missed important points, and asked me what happened during a scene. I had no idea! I did not answer his question. "OK you're not watching," he said.
Do you ever trail off on movies. I do this when my dad and sister watch complex TV shows I can't comprehend.
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I have a difficult relationship with my mom. I have an interview in retail the next day. I struggled with sales in my background, but thought I'd go for experience. But she just talks me out of it with an attitude. Tells me I won't get hired or won't last. She's said this about other careers too. She thinks I'll always been good in ART, but nothing much else. She knows my mind. Sometimes I wonder, between my disability and her doubts, I stayed home for a prolonged period of time.
I really want a permanent placement—but it's so tough out there right now.
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I'm blown away, right now. I spent the last 25 years, a person of my own world, and my town seemed to be all I needed. The back forest of my house and the field beyond seemed like a great scope for my imagination. I got inspired by many things living in that area, whether it was books, tv series, or movies. I treated it like everything was just "here." When really, everything I believed in was all between the ears, and now that I'm awake, the area has practically lost all meaning to me. And now I want to get out there, and see new things. Which is something I should've realized when I was 18. Sometimes, I wonder if I was dope!
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I feel that MD sucked my life. Now I nearly have to start over.
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I also realize that real life just doesn't look like the illusions in my head.
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If only, I stopped and thought twice. Realized, where is this taking me? Is this making my journey better? I'm just hopping around my room singing songs and talking to fictional friends. But I just kept on doing it...until now. When you wake up from MD, your'e like, OMG. Non of that was real, but I knew that, didn't I?
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Yeah and tbh since I have been mding I have realised my life hasn’t changed if I had less friends four years ago I still don’t have friends I literally have the same problems yet . I don’t know if I had stoped daydreaming would these still be problems but atleast I wouldn’t still be feeeling loneliness because I would learn to fill it up
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omg genuinely why do we still keep doing it , like ik none of it is real no my friends don’t exist it’s just me and some songs but then why
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I envy other people. I think it's because I'm deprived of things in life, or they have abilities that I don't have. It makes me feel unimportant, or not smart, or not good. Or I have issues, and need a lot of improvement.
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I feel like I can get on with my life now. Like I shut the door on everything that's happened to me. I just want to get out there and do new things elsewhere. I want to start over. That's all that matters to me now.
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