I constantly freeze

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I stopped being active with maladaptive daydreaming years back. I have crucial responsibilities, try to stay away and concentrate, but notice that I suddenly wonder off and my eyes go dazed for a minute or so. This happens when I'm chill and during an stress-free time. Family and friends have made remarks that I look like my mind is somewhere else. I'm not sure though, it's more like I zone out. I'm trying to seek employment, but so afraid that when I start a new gig, someone will notice my eyes! Maybe even my frozen state. Unless the job is remote. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Today, I felt myself normalize for the first time, since I was a kid. Something drove me to do maladaptive daydreaming. I remember it was a TV series I watched as a preteen, and my mind just enraptured in fantasy. It took over my life. It was a disaster and put me on a road that I shouldn't have went down. Now I'm realizing that I should've stayed in this world while I was transferring into junior high. But I was so attracted to my fantasies that I wouldn't drop it, and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Now I live with this regret. I really thought MD was assuring me that I will be happy.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I think I realize why I got picked on that much. Thing is, I've been out of the scene for years. I've always been working and going stuff remotely, so I've lost contact with people. So these social conflicts are a blurry memory. But still, I'm so afraid it's going to happen again.