Another planet

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm on the autistic spectrum, but it's more Asperger syndrome, but it effects my pattern of behaviour, difficulties with social interaction, and verbal communication. I tend to not be attuned to my surrounding environment and people's messages don't absorb and process very well. So not only do I act all blunderingly clumsy, lost, but also deaf. I also tend to daydream a bit. So I cannot describe to you how people have looked at me—like I am from outer space. I have problems with unfamiliar situations and I'm not a quick learner and observer. Anyway, due to my disability, they've caught a hold of the fact "I'm not here, either" and wander if I'm really a smart person.They even start yelling at me. I hesitate and suddenly want to sink into the floor. I believe I can be an accountable, mature and think on my feet adult. In real life, I'm tipsy headed and can't act according to other people's expectations, and I wander. What makes me offended, even sick, is the reactions I am getting. Like they wonder how I live and get by. 

I'm so amazing, talented and gifted when it comes to creating artwork, whether it's drawing, painting, printing and illustrating. I can do this for hours and impress my parents, friends, and other people. But when it comes to working in retail, fast-paced services, food, cleaning etc. I'm so introvert and have trouble absorbing information and can't seem to zone into changing environments, not fast and vigilant either. I don't even drive. People think I'm not intelligent—I am, but my brain is wired uniquely, but this makes it incompatible to the real world. I also have zero social interaction skills. I hesitate when it comes to dealing with people at all. I'm always working on my own time slots, and alone, at my pace.

I tend to bring something up—and someone will say, "I just said this moments ago...?" and think I'm nuts, or something. I'm like the world's worst listener. It's no wonder I've never been in a relationship. 

Does anybody relate?

[Dee Wards]

I have a niece who is  on the spectrum.  Some people are ignorant when it comes to people with challenges.  My niece has been called names and laughed at because of the way she acts and looks.  All she has in her heart is love for everyone.  It breaks my heart when people are cruel to her.  She’s 13.  

It’s unfortunate that you must deal with intolerance.  It sounds like you are incredibly talented. You sound as if you are very in tune with how you interact with others.  I winder if a coach would be helpful.  Regardless, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.  You have differences that are not within your control.  It shouldn’t be held against you.  

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I understand how your niece feels. Everything is about appearance to many people. I made very few friends. It's tough out there. I have to be so strong and resilient. I hope she copes as well. 

[Dee Wards]

We give her unconditional love and support. She also has serious medical issues that have caused her intellectual challenges.  My hope is that she will become self sufficient and be happy.  She loves being as independent as possible.  

I wish you the best too.  Finding a good peer support group might be helpful.  We all need a soft spot to fall and a support system to help us. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Yeah, I had a hard time getting through grade school, and working anywhere. I still struggle in life today. I'm 37.

Good luck with you niece, I hope she finds peace with this. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Are you or your niece a daydream member? 

[Dee Wards]

I’m a daydream member.  I am a daydreamsr.  I’m fortunate that it hasn’t really impacted me in a negative way.  I’ve done it as early as I can remember. I love music and like many others, music goes hand in hand with dd for me.  My niece is not able to express many of her thoughts and feelings verbally, so I’m not sure if she daydreams. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I don't often express many of my thoughts and feeling verbally, and people can still detect that I daydream. It shows in my body language, I tend to freeze and my eyes stare fixedly at nothing. Unfortunately, this took a toll on my way of life. So I don't live like a typical adult, and it's soul crushing. I still depend on my family and I'm constantly on the search for a job. The pandemic has made it so hard for me to rebuild a career. People see me for how I look and crack jokes, made fun of me instantly. I look to them like I can't bond with people. I do Love myself, and so does my family...but nobody else does. It's hard to even be liked. That is why I started daydreaming in the first place. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I had this problem where I expected my fantasies to manifest into something real. That was a very big mistake. Real life looks absolutely nothing like whatever's going on in your head. Even the things you want, you obviously have to earn them by working so hard and getting exposure. I blew it by spending years of my life drifting around. Music induced my daydreaming to extent, the dreams flourished in my head so powerfully in my twenties. It greatly effected my mental health that I couldn't perform well. People saw me and tried to give me a heads up warning. I was just so ignorant and felt like my MD was giving me answers about a future I wanted to see. I'm a mature person who looks back at my actions, and realize how stupid I was. Now that I stopped, I have to rebuild the life I see in front of me. 

[Dee Wards]

I hope my niece can get vocational therapy.  She has many seizures daily. She takes lots of medication, but still has lots of seizures.  So, she seems to be in a far away place a lot.  We just console her and stay close by for support.  Still, there are others who are similar to her and might want to be friends and do activities together.  

I hope you can find resources to help you. There are support groups for most all persons who have differences.  

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm sorry to hear about your niece. To be on the syndrome and dealing with health problems. We do all we can for ourselves, despite how everybody thinks of us. I wish the best with her therapy. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I should find a support group. I just realized how much "I lived in my head" instead of really experiencing life. 

[Dee Wards]

Thank you for your kind words.  I will continue to provide my niece with all the love and support I can.  She loves her family so much.  She loves being a teenager and I try to arrange activities she will enjoy.  I iniw shevwants friends her own age though. I hope her parents can arrange for that.