Accountability buddy?

[Cain]

Hello everyone! 

It's high time I take myself seriously and stop daydreaming. Not that I haven't been taking myself seriously so far. I was. But at the same time, a part of me always wanted to stick to daydreaming because it's been so comforting all my life. Don't get me wrong, a part of me still wants to remain like this - numb in reality and an amazing life in my head. This time, the only difference is I can notice how I myself keep sabotaging my attempts at dealing with MD. I think being conscious of this makes it possible to also stop sabotaging myself.  

Anyway - I've stopped daydreaming, I've started to put my feet in my pool of reporessed emotions, I've scheduled Theraphy evey 10 days to talk about this, I'm determined to share all the contents of my daydreams if that's what's going to help along with completely stopping DDing (I made a post about this in the past and I wasn't surprised to find out that just like me, most of us are not confortable sharing the contents of our DDs). 

I also think having an accountability buddy woudl be nice and I was wondering anyone from here would be up for this? Let's talk daily for 15 to 30 minutes, check in on each other, hold each other accountable and help each other out to get through this. 

If anyone is interested, feel free to leave a comment or PM me and we could maybe set up a meeting daily at a time that works for both of us. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Just like you, I stopped daydreaming. Although, I was really my own therapist. I didn't want anybody outside my family to learn I was a daydreamer. I was a coward to admit the content of my daydreams. All my life people berated me to stop doing it. Long story. I think the reason I was quite the daydreamer, because I was socially cut out from the crowd, and the feeling was cold. People simply didn't find me an interactive and talkative person, and would never give me a chance. So there you have it. A combination of ASD and daydreaming blew my real life out of proportion and made it challenging for me to live a normal, healthy and happy lifestyle. Even though I stopped, I look back at a damaging past that I can't undo. I haven't been able to hone up to that, now being an adult individual. There's a person in my waking real live who can't get over the fact I daydreamed this much. My mom. Our relationship just wasn't the same ever since. Regards my dad understands that I was born like this and still do it often to juice up my creative talents. I decided to keep my daydreaming life as a secret to new people, because I don't want to lose anyone. My social life was actually impacted by my space cadet ways. It was a fault in my history that will certainly not repeat itself, since I've already learned such a very gut-wrenching lesson. Don't let MD take over your life. After I climbed out of it, I'm facing a messy outcome of dealing with financial problems, job security, failed goals and what not. 

[Tammy O.]

Hello,

I have been working on being more mindful so I could stop daydreaming. I feel like I wasted so much of my life because of daydreaming. I think the reason I daydream is because of my  low self-esteem. I dont value or accept myself and have created almost an alternate identity in my daydreams. I am worried that I will be the same for another 30 years. (I'm 30 now). I have no career path (not like a traditional career matter these days) but I only recently got a job title other than teaching assistant. I would love an accountability buddy to stop daydreaming. You could send me a private message on how I should reach you. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Hi, I had the same issue since I was a kid. I wasn't self-confident and accepting, and wanted to be like everybody else, who easily achieved friends, relationships and accomplishments. I used daydreaming to get away from my reality. Although, I did have talent and an expressive gift, but still nobody was attracted to me or liked me. I guess because I was an extremely quiet person. Sure, we can bud up. 

[Tammy O.]

You can private message me so we can hold each other accountable.

[David H]

New to this site, 1st day. I've been MD about 5 years. I engage in it because my real life is just depression and loneliness. Need help getting back to reality. Any ideas ?

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm sorry to hear your suffering from depression and loneliness, leading you to daydreaming. This sounds familiar and I was once in this situation, it was so dismal. My daydreaming came in forms according to my emotions. If I was happy, my daydreams were like utopia. If I was unhappy, my daydreams were in fact dark. Being a mature adult with self-appreciation and overcoming the worst of my vicious cycles of mood swings and bad thoughts, I stopped daydreaming altogether. In fact, the real reason I stopped daydreaming was that I "had to stop." I was now an adult with cares, and I have to be awake and alive in life. Overall, I felt there was no need to feel depressed and lonely (and getting buried into maladaptive daydreams) as it got me nowhere. I just sank more and more, instead of climbing and succeeding. As I got older, I realized that I do love myself and want to help myself. I can be a better me, and one of these days, I'll meet a significant other who will love and respect me too.