What Comes Next?

[Sora D]

For many people, it seems that upon discovering Maladaptive Daydreaming, a great sense of relief follows as we finally realize that we're not alone in our predicaments. However, after you discovered that you're a Maladaptive Daydreamer, what was your next step? Did you immediately attempt to seek help, try to learn more about it first, or... ? Perhaps if you've gone on to surmount your MD, what would you recommend the first step be? All opinions and advice welcome :)

- Sora

[Valeria Franco]

The first step is awareness, the next is connection :-)

Many people find it really helpful to share their experience and I think it's somewhat therapeutical.

What comes next to that is quite personal. 

The most important thing to me is to rewrite the project of your life. "I have maladaptive daydreaming" shouldn't become just a label I give to myself. 

I should ask myself instead: what do I really want, now? I'm not talking just about overcoming it, but things like: "I want feel good about myself", or "I want to achieve that goal that MD has always prevented me from achieving" "I want to live fully"...

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Surprisingly, I never sought professional help. I actually self-helped my problem of maladaptive daydreaming, long story short. I simply went through phases where I came to realize that it was an association disorder, where I preferred to escape my real life, by living in fantasies. I basically looked at the other side of the coin, and saw that many people who don't MD, they might find this terrifying. So I put myself in their shoes, and along the way, I normalized over time. 

Regards, I feel that it strongly effected my life. When I started recovering, I notice years and years have passed. I was falling behind in my career goals. It doesn't get better from there. I didn't ever get to travel. Moral of the story, if you want to have a good life, I would not daydream. 

[Kyle C Monroe]

Find a good therapist.  Personally, I got it young, adapted and have found it useful now... but it helps to have an outside informed perspective keeping tabs on you.  There are still parts that derail me, it's still a double-edged sword, but when you figure out how to weld it well, you can take advantage of it with minimal setbacks.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

What kind of a therapist did you have?

[Kyle C Monroe]

Well I first tried a psychiatrist because I thought I was just chemically depressed... but it seems they split with psychology therapist a while back so they don't really chat about your issues just check if the drugs are okay for you... at least here in the US.  So just a mental therapist?  I'd suggest pointing them to the MD info as a litmus test of if their a decent one.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I honestly don't need drugs. Just therapy. A wake up call at least. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I realize why I have difficult problems connecting or relating with others outside of this community. Most people would think what I do is totally bonkers. 

[Sora D]

Valeria, Jessica, Kyle, thank you for the great advice and input. Jessica, though I agree that most people would probably consider Maladaptive Daydreaming bonkers, it's interesting to note that Dr. Eli Somer, the person who actually coined MD in the first place, is not a daydreamer himself. The fact that he's put so much effort into understanding and researching something that he hasn't experienced himself is truly remarkable, at least to me.

Also, there is a great mini-film online called "The Daydreamers" where two MD'ers tell their story and share their experiences with Dr. Somer. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xmCpUcacp8 .

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I can make MD inexplicable until people start to notice that I'm "deaf" and don't respond or react when I should. This typically happens when I'm at work, in a class, or taking part in an extra curricular activity, such as a theatre play. People just notice that I don't absorb words and tune out what goes on around me. While I'm just living in my head, thinking of something elsewhere. It's been going on since I was a child. There's no getting rid of it. Of course, being a responsible adult, I have more control than ever, and can suppress it if I have to. Still, people will see that my communication is just not consistent. Like they have Eagle senses. I'm angry that other MD-ers didn't get caught dead, unlike me.