I was a massive daydreamer

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I used to be a quite a daydreamer, but eventually it broke me—nothing was real. I awoken to a gritty truth that was anything but a dream come true. I just sat for years doing nothing for myself, but daydreaming all the time. I deeply regret this, and I deserve it all the same. No matter how happy the dreaming made me, it just dug me a deeper hole, which I ultimately fell into. It's extremely hard to get back on my feet, because my health and mindset is not the same, and I am not getting any younger. I actually wish that I spoke up about my excessive daydreaming when it first started growing on me. Now I'm pushing my late 30's. If only I could turn back time, and revisit 12, and say no, this will ruin your life, not promise you better things to come. What happened to me was life sucking and not fair. It also made everybody around me think I needed psychiatry. I spent the last 18 years in and out of work, and surprisingly still haven't managed to be independent. I seem to be treading water, instead of climbing a mountain. And often, I wonder if it's still not too late to start over. I'm sure many of you guys feel the same way. 

[Mark F.]

Jessica, thank you for your reply. You're correct: disease is the wrong word, I'm sorry, I'm not English native speaker. Disorder is a better word. 

I still do not understand if I'm normal or not, but I'm about 50 years old and I wonder if this question makes sense. 

[Divantha Ekanayake]

According to Eli Somer, the psychologist who coined the name maladaptive daydreaming, it only becomes a mental disorder when you cannot control daydreaming. Talking about myself, I slip into daydreaming (such as imaginary conversations) on an off, which really distract my day today life. 

Here is the link to his youtube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/SomerClinic

Jayne Rachael is also a pioneer in this field, and work with Dr. Somer. Here is a link to her youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmv2xTbLt4gsEkOfNnQU2GQ

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I wonder if I'm normal or not, too. I had a troubled beginning, because I was a dreamer. I was a new kid coming to a neighbourhood where kids just wanted to get to know me. I was so preoccupied in my head that I seldom payed attention to my surrounding environment—nor spoke a word all day. So the kids not only began to find me dumb and unfriendly, but they started to get mean and condescending, manipulating me whenever they could. I scarcely made any friends, instead the very odd few, who nobody liked either. I honestly wish my parents hadn't moved me to such a small town. Where everybody easily knows who you are. I can tell you, I met some nasty personalities in all of my schools. Of who found me abnormally quiet to a degree they picked on my about it. They really did think I was a stupid person, when it reality, I was a smart person who had trouble expressive myself verbally out loud. It's just the way I naturally was, though it drove many people to frustration. I was also a space cadet, so people raved at me even harder for not paying attention. I always thought that was just "Jess." I think there is no fixed definition of normal. We are all born in our own different way. So we are going to come across as weird to the next person. A guy on wild minds once told me, 'Don't worry about being normal, underneath we are all weirdos.'

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Honestly, I find daydreaming a big mistake. It's useful if I want to do art as a living. But it's problematic in all other areas. It even effected my relationships with everyone. I really should've stayed here. As much as it was fun and made my happy, temporarily. It wasn't truthful with me, and it got me into a lot of trouble. 

[Rosário]

Acho que nunca é tarde para mudar e buscar uma nova perspectiva. Fazer MD sempre foi uma válvula de escape pra mim, porém faz algum tempo que percebo que estou fazendo em excesso.

Hoje é meu primeiro dia tentando fazer menos MD, e estou feliz por estar no controle da minha imaginação❤️