if you feel like you have an open wound

[Yelena Cheeli]

ok, but have you ever read a book, or a movie, or seen a news article about some famous person, of something that happened and it hurt you like it was you? and it hurt like hell and you were devastated for weeks and not even daydreaming could make it better? i have these moments and i am going through one right now. i avoid reading/watching/knowing other things for two reasons: not to daydream about them and not to feel their pain. and i wonder if this is dissociation in its deepest form? because i feel exactly like an open wound that everything and anything can get into. maybe i am so desperate to feel any real feeling that is mine that i am absorbing any feeling from anything i see? it's so shitty. it's so exhausting and i can't stand feeling like this anymore for things i haven't even experienced. i mean, i hope for an ideal world where people have empathy for each other, but it doesn't feel like empathy to me and it feels more like a cruel absorption. what do you think about that?

[Deep blue]

I definitely don't feel it on the level you do.... but yeah I've felt sad because of a tv show before. 

I remember watching a Post apocalyptic tv show and feeling really depressed. I lost interest in it after 2 seasons ( that's a completely different thing).

I recently I watched a video about it and that reminded me how strongly I was attached to that show. It's funny how I unnecessarily inflicted pain onto myself. I live a good life on a planet that as of now is doing fine.

I wouldn't want to experience that ever again. I mean my life is already filled with problems so why find some more unnecessary reasons to be sad. 

[Trinity]

This is exactly why I stopped reading. I used to read a lot of novels, but I would always end up depressed for weeks over what I read. I haven't read an actual book in years.