Is it bad that I dont want to stop my day dreaming?

[Panda]

So, I've seen a lot of people ask about curing MDD, yet I have no desire to stop? I feel like its actually something I can use to my advantage. My main problem is learning how to. I can imagine full animated scenes in my head, yet I don't know how to make my stories real and to show them to others without sounding crazy. I really hate the idea of it fully going away. My head has always been like this, its part of me, I don't know what its like without my brain entertaining me. Am I the only one? Is it unhealthy?

[Theaxe]

For many of us, our daydreams are a way to soothe and cope. They entertain us, and for a lot of us, make us feel better. A lot of daydreamers invest a lot of time and thought into a world that they enjoy, so to eliminate it completely would be not much different than cutting ties with actual people and places. We are emotionally connected as if they were real. So yes, it's hard to let them go.

I think of that line in A Beautiful Mind when Professor Nash (suffering from schizophrenia) is told by his psychiatrist, Dr. Rosen: "Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse, had never been." The difference is that with us, we aren't fooled. We know they're not real. We know they had never been and accept that fact. (We might not like it, but we aren't delusional.)

All of those characters and places are one thing, but the habit is another. We have been exercising our imaginations for so long that we develop a fix that we take in, similar to drugs or over-eating, as a response to what we deal with in real life. It's free, and it's private. No one knows we're doing it. (Unless we start talking out loud or making faces.) But that doesn't mean it's not a hindrance. 

A lot of people who experience MD tend to feel badly about it as we feel our lives and opportunities are passing us by as we favour the daydreams over real life. As for the daydreams themselves, not so much. Those of us who daydream pleasant things often find them enjoyable and something to look forward to, or even make time for. So no, you are definitely not alone.

[Amanda]

Not at all. I feel the same way. I had a lot of shame about it early in life, but over the years I've learned to live into it and it has become a cherished skill set of mine. It's brought me a lot of beauty and that beauty is REAL, and there is a positive feedback loop between the other worlds I live in and this one. I think having an extraordinary power of imagination is a gift, but I may be in the minority about that. I think we internalize a lot of shame and it's hard to feel empowered to lean into it and explore it fully without judgement or fear of direct or indirect punishment. And my daydreams are not always pleasant. I think there's a lot of internalized shame for people like us about the content of daydreams if they are weird or gross or violent or even just sappy. But to me, this is just evidence that I am a cosmos unto myself - there are so many worlds spiraling in and around me all the time, and I have a hard time not feeling like that is a profound and beautiful mystery. If there's something that feels unhealthy about your daydreaming to you, that's important to explore and understand. But a deep and unyielding desire to do something isn't necessarily an addiction or inherently wrong or bad. Compulsion is also different from addiction. I think the word addiction is often over used to describe things that we feel like we don't know how to change. I'm expanding on Theaxe's use of that term in their response.

I believe if you experience something it IS real. How it's real or why it's real or what it means that you are experiencing it - those are important questions. But it's not unreal just because no one else has the exact same experience. The love and joy and beauty and connection I experience in worlds outside of this one are absolutely real. And they change me, and therefore they change this world. I think expansive imaginations are highly adaptive actually, but there are so little resources and so little understanding for us. And it's very incompatible with capitalist and white supremacist society. Like  I'm also an expansively emotional person who was taught that I mainly needed to keep my emotions "under control" or "regulated." But what is actually healthiest for me is to feel them all as deeply and as authentically as possible so that I can show up in the world as my best self. Daydreaming is the same for me, and actually daydreaming is a really helpful tool for me to experience and explore all of my intense and varied feelings. I find the more I throw myself into daydreaming intentionally and enthusiastically and without shame, the less "compulsive" it becomes. I still do it A LOT because it's a really powerful tool for me to grow and learn and create and intentionally shape myself and life as a whole. 

[Valeria Franco]

In the past, I had the same feeling. I thought "I want to gain control, but i don't want to stop all daydreaming".

But now, I almost stopped completely and if I do my daydreams are much less intense. And... I don't miss them.

I still have a lot of imagination, I can still imagine stories, but in a more relaxing way, sort of method to take my mind away from everyday worries.

I think many mders don't really know how it is living a free-dream life. I didn't know, at all.

[Katherine Crowley]

I am right there with you on not wanting to cure it. Because from the outside, it looks like I am pretty successful, keeping jobs, graduating, getting things I need taken care of done, etc. On the inside, I daydream a lot to just get by with the day. I graduated with a bachelors in animation, and I would love to use the intensity of the daydreams and be able to see things enough to draw them - so I totally get you there. 

If there was a way to make it so I would not feel the sucking draw to ONLY do MDD during certain times and just focus on getting the material down, I would absolutely love it. I am still attacking it head on to get into a schedule, which does not seem to be working as well as I would like. I'm going to try tricking my brain into smaller tasks of getting the information down, and see how that progresses. 

I know one thing: This has been an essential part of me since before I can even remember, and it might not be necessary to continue through life with this, but I want it to be there. I want to have a back up plan for when everything hits the fan. I want to be able to take care of the uncomfortable feelings in a way that does not hurt those around me. I want it to a point I NEED it. 

So no, you are not the only one. This might just be our version of healthy until something else comes along, or until we figure it out. 

[Panda]

I'm also going for animation! Honestly everything you said is exactly how I feel. I have high grades, and I am graduating a year early. I think my main problem is that it encourages me to isolate myself even more. But I feel like I can fix it since I need to work on it anyway. Also, music is a trigger for me, which my cause problems with driving. The schedule thing is also a problem, though my anxiety makes sure I get shit done even if it kills me lol. It's kinda like how people with autism learn to use it to their advantage while for others it's a major hindrance. Maybe we got lucky with ours? I wonder if it depends on when you started daydreaming. Like, since we both started at a very young age, we had time to learn how to control it better than someone who started later in their life.

Katherine Crowley said:

I am right there with you on not wanting to cure it. Because from the outside, it looks like I am pretty successful, keeping jobs, graduating, getting things I need taken care of done, etc. On the inside, I daydream a lot to just get by with the day. I graduated with a bachelors in animation, and I would love to use the intensity of the daydreams and be able to see things enough to draw them - so I totally get you there. 

If there was a way to make it so I would not feel the sucking draw to ONLY do MDD during certain times and just focus on getting the material down, I would absolutely love it. I am still attacking it head on to get into a schedule, which does not seem to be working as well as I would like. I'm going to try tricking my brain into smaller tasks of getting the information down, and see how that progresses. 

I know one thing: This has been an essential part of me since before I can even remember, and it might not be necessary to continue through life with this, but I want it to be there. I want to have a back up plan for when everything hits the fan. I want to be able to take care of the uncomfortable feelings in a way that does not hurt those around me. I want it to a point I NEED it. 

So no, you are not the only one. This might just be our version of healthy until something else comes along, or until we figure it out. 

[Blanca Margatroid]

I agree with Valeria on this one. In the times of my life when I was happier, my daydreams didn't control my life. It was also because in my case the daydreams were keeping me from having meaningful relationships in real life and a good self esteem. It's different for each person, I'm sure. 

I guess it's not giving up on them completely, because as you said it's an important part of us. And I like having a vivid and colourful imagination, it's one of the things I like about myself. I simply want to turn to them whenever I feel like, but not as to the point where they take a toll on my life.

[Lisa Tomlin]

I know what you mean. I don't want  "cured".  I enjoy my daydreams. They entertain me. They give me  stress relief and that's something I need right now during this pandemic. I also hate the idea of them fully going away. I cannot imagine never having them.