It blows my mind

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Maladaptive daydreaming was a way of life with me during my teens and twenties. Today, I feel that person I once was only recently expired over the Spring. Massive global change has really transformed me dramatically that I grew up a lot. There were so many conflicts and incidences between me and others, in which I never understood and read out, until just now. It really blows my mind. I've missed out on so many opportunities due to weaving thick daydreams in my head. And people really have noticed that I was a million miles away. I've always wondered why I never experienced a relationship or earned my own independence, but now it's clear that I was mentally ill. Over a decade I was in a predicament because I wanted to jam to music and images in my head, rather than pay close attention to my surrounding environment and worldly events. Pay back time. I didn't get very far at all. Things fall flat for a perfectly good reason, and it just hit me this week. I'm glad I walked away, because my alternative worlds could've put a significant toll on my whole life, effecting my health and my head, and my pursuits. 

I was basically a daydreamer all my life and since I was born. It's hair raising how nobody knew about it except for me. Whole time my mother was raising me, she had no idea what I've been doing, and believed I'd grow up a strong and independent minded adult. When she finally discovered my MD, she shouted at me, saying "I did too much for you." All my peers, teachers and buddies had no realization that when I was around them, my mind was often somewhere else. When they finally noticed I wouldn't listen in class, even in extra curricular activities, their reactions are still strongly marked in my mind. 

Currently, I'm struggling to climb in a career that's very baffling for me. I really hope that I make it through in these strange times. 

[Enix]

Hello

Your courage is insparing me mate. I am glad you have a new awareness and you try to make things up rather than completetly giving up. I was one of the lucky ones and realized my situation early so had enough opportunity to recover from what i missed so far. I can sincerely say that when you try to get on the way, it gets better and eaiser. Wish you best on your fight to independence.