Misophonia, Sensory Defensiveness, and who knows what else....

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

One of my biggest and most troubling symptoms is an extreme sensitivity to many many things.  The biggest one is my sensitivity to sound.  Lip-smacking bothers me so much I press hard on my ears & go into a panic because I just can't bear it.  People smack when they eat, talk, and even just breathe sometimes.  It drives me crazy & makes me want to cry.  Other sounds that bother me are crackling, tapping, or any sharp or unexpected sounds.  It's very serious & makes me wonder if I wouldn't be better off deaf.  I'm not making light of deafness.  It's just that torturous for me.

Through research I've found there are 3 main descriptions for ear sensitivity:

Hyperacusis: physical sensitivity

Phonophobia: fear of sounds in general

Misophonia: extreme hatred of certain sounds.

Misophonia seems the most likely.  It saddens me because people are horribly judgmental about this.  They assume I'm just being rude when I cringe at hearing a sound.  I understand how it can be irritating to be around someone who's constantly cringing when you don't feel like you're doing anything wrong.  I'm not doing this intentionally though.  This is an expression of honest torture.  I may be cringing, but I really want to cover my ears and scream.  I know I'm not the only one in the world who feels this way.  Do any of you have this problem?  

It's not just my ears.  I have a lot of sensory sensitivity.  Lights, for example.  Bright lights don't always bother me, but yellow lighting and especially yellow sunlight bothers me.  I hate bright sunlight more than I can explain.  I dread the summer starting in January.  I get dizzy and feel really uncomfortable in it, but there's nothing physically wrong with me.  I also hate "mood" lighting and any light changes.  When one of my light bulbs goes out, and I have just half my room lit until I can get another I get really dizzy every time I turn on the lights.  The half-lit room makes me so uncomfortable I have to hold on to something until I adjust.  

Lots of things seem to "shock" my senses.  Any kind of unexpected noise or change.  I hate hearing people talk loudly & even whisper when I'm at home.  I flinch when I'm touched & it makes people think I don't like it.  People will tap my arm & apologize when I flinch because they think I don't like that.  That actually doesn't bother me.  It's just a natural reaction.  I can't stand being touched on top of the head though.  

This all appears to be described as Sensory Defensiveness.  I read a few articles on this, and they match how I feel pretty well.  The following is still a mystery:

I can also see air, believe it or not.  I haven't spoken about this much because frankly most people don't believe me.  It's very true and very serious.  It looks like the air is full of glitter, so it's really hard to see in bright light.  The darker the room, the more I can see it.  It makes it really hard to see at night because it looks like I'm walking around in a fog of glitter as well as it being dark.  The funny thing is that my crappy cell phone camera actually captures it pretty well.  It's so tiny that I can barely see the colors, but I can definitely see it.  My grandmother always said I'm seeing energy.  She's the only one who's ever believed me.  

Anyone else experience any sensory sensitivity?  

[Gina M]

Aren't you just seeing dust particles and things like that? I see it really well in certain lighting, but it's always subtle. Sometimes I see green and pink dots in the dark but I never thought much of it, because I don't see it all the time. I just figure my eyes are reacting to the light or dark and sometimes dust is visible (like when sunlight comes in through an otherwise dark room).

I really hate loud, sudden sounds. I shudder and flinch at surprise sounds. When my alarm goes off, I leap out of bed. I'm so used to doing this that I sometimes am not fully awake when I scramble to turn it off.

I absolutely hate nail clippers or the sound of finger/toe nails being cut. I don't use them because I somehow neatly rip them off with other nails. The sound makes me think of rough cardboard, or nails down a chalkboard. I also hate the feeling of un-sanded wood or having flour (or something similar) on my hands.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I don't think it's just dust particles because the air is completely full of them. It doesn't seem like I'm seeing something IN the air. It looks like I'm seeing the air itself, like the air is made up of these particles. While that picture I included is the closest rendering I could find, it's really a lot finer-grained than that. Picture microscopic sand or microscopic glitter, too small to actually see the colors. I can see that there are colors to it, but it's too fine for me to see what they are. I can also see waves in it & what appear to be streaks of reflecting light. It's really hard to describe, so bear with me.

It sounds like you're experiencing a similar sort of sensitivity that I am. There are certain sounds that are too unbearable to even think about, but aside from that there are so many things that bother me in general. I attribute the specific sounds I hate to misophonia. Other sounds & things that bother me I attribute to Sensory Defensiveness. It's just what seems to fit.

I forgot to mention my problem with taste, which is a big deal as well. There are very few things in this world I'll eat and they have to be a certain way. The things I don't like bother me to the point that I will vomit at the slightest hint of them. If I taste them even a little or smell certain things like butter I'll get sick & vomit. Other things I just won't tolerate. It makes eating very hard. I've gained 60 lbs in the past year or so, and it's hard dieting because I don't eat vegetables. There are few things at all that I'll even touch, so that limits my choices astronomically.

It sounds like sensory sensitivity is definitely a common thing here. I wouldn't be surprised if more people experienced it to some level. It will be interesting to see, for sure.

Gina M said:

Aren't you just seeing dust particles and things like that? I see it really well in certain lighting, but it's always subtle. Sometimes I see green and pink dots in the dark but I never thought much of it, because I don't see it all the time. I just figure my eyes are reacting to the light or dark and sometimes dust is visible (like when sunlight comes in through an otherwise dark room).

I really hate loud, sudden sounds. I shudder and flinch at surprise sounds. When my alarm goes off, I leap out of bed. I'm so used to doing this that I sometimes am not fully awake when I scramble to turn it off.

I absolutely hate nail clippers or the sound of finger/toe nails being cut. I don't use them because I somehow neatly rip them off with other nails. The sound makes me think of rough cardboard, or nails down a chalkboard. I also hate the feeling of un-sanded wood or having flour (or something similar) on my hands.

[sky]

Misophonia: extreme hatred of certain sounds. wow cordellia thats made me feel mile better as i never understood why i CANT STAND being in the room when people eat or drink!! it annoys me to the point where i leave the room myself! if for some reason i couldnt leave i think i would have to cover my ears which would be pretty embarrassing for me and the person but i think ive got a line of tolerance and someone could quite easily push it if the eating carried on for long enough.because of this ive eaten alone since i was young and have suffered from eating disorders which began because i cannot bear to eat near people because im so conscious of annoying them the way that they drive me crazy!! im way over sensitive to any sounds like that even to the sound of someone drinking a coffee or rattling a crisp packet!

it makes going to the cinema impossible because people eating popcorn is soooooo annoying for me i mean like unbelievably irritating where i want to scream and run away! I always get a booth in restaraunts too as looking at people eat despite not being able to hear them can still get me on edge as i can imagine what sound they are making!

[Sarah]

Eating and drinking sounds! Ugh. My office-mate makes the most disgusting noises when she eats and drinks. I tend to put my headphones in or find a reason to leave the room. I know quite a lot of people are bothered by this kind of thing though.

I also ate alone a lot, which I think might make me less tolerant. Plus my mum is one of the noisiest, messiest eaters in the world (always talks with her mouth full - yuck!), which is probably another reason. I think sometimes I just don't notice noises, but when I do they're all I can think about and they drive me crazy.

Lighting has always been a big battleground for me when I'm sharing space with someone. Since I moved in to an office with just one other person I managed to negotiate a 'desk lamps only' policy on lighting. I can read comfortably when it's practically pitch-black and I'm always baffled by other people turning on lights when to me it's broad daylight. A sunny day or an artificial light is frequently too much. At home most evenings involve my flatmate putting on the big halogen lights, me getting up ten minutes later to turn them off and put the little energy-saver light on instead ... then ten minutes later she gets up again and puts the halogen on. We don't argue about it or anything but we're both clearly uncomfortable with each other's preferred lighting levels. Those big lights hurt my eyes and make me feel sick.

Having said all this ... one of my favourite places in the world is the fairground. Bright, gaudy lights, loud music, crowd noise, strong food smells ... love it! Makes no sense really.

[Heinriech Heisner]

Maybe you're not seeing the air, maybe you're seeing something on the lens of your eye or in your mind. In certain situations I can see pink and green and sometimes yellow and blue swirls in the air, but I'm pretty sure those are oils on my eye.

The first time I read your post I thought I could identify with you because I can see particles in the air and it kind of has a glitter to it, but it's nowhere as intense as you describe it as. I don't see it at night or I've never really noticed it. Mostly in the day and often when it's about to rain. I always thought I could see the rain forming before it actually became raindrops. Who knows.

My senses aren't oversensitive, but I do get this strange perception change if I focus on an object, often when I'm talking to someone a few feet away. Everything seems to contradict itself. Objects seem at the same time to be very large and very small or close and far away at the same time. Anyone experience anything like this? Only recently did I discover that it is comparable to closing one eye and focusing on a spot about an inch from your eye and looking at an object in front of you. Your perception will change slightly, like the object is farther away. Maybe my brain can perceive an object at two different focus points at the same time. I really don't know.

[Jon80]

Recently, I've noticed that I've become less tolerent of loud, sudden noises. I think it's mainly when I'm trying hard to concentrate. Sometimes a loud sneeze or something will startle the heck out of me. I might even glare for a moment thinking to myself "that idiot" didn't have to sneeze so loud! :) Yes, lip-smacking also annoys me too... but it really only becomes "unbearable" if I am working on something.

hmm... I don't have pets, but I've heard that cats hate loud noises and surprises in general. I don't remember where I read this, but the article remarked how cats are c0nstantly in a state of sensory-overload. Perhaps our minds are a bit overactive /overloaded too... Maybe its sensory related maybe it's... some other mechanism.... Ultimately, I would really like to know what my brain or the brain of another maladaptive daydreamer looks like when in the middle of a more intense / prolonged daydream....

[Joanne Gladstone]

Hello fellow misophonia person.
I have suffered from this as long as I can remember, for more than 40 years.
The number one offending noise is any noises made while a person is eating.
Seriously is it that difficult to chew with your mouth shut? Only last year did I find there is a name for this and others who suffer as well.
I have a twin sister and she has misophonia. We have always been told not to let sounds bother us and that we could control it if we wanted to.
Truth be told, the fact that I have not hurt anyone yet for smacking shows I have tons of control!
I leave the room when noises bother me rather than suffering it out.
Keep ear plugs with you at all times it doesn't get better with age.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Finally someone else who understands. I hear those sounds everywhere, and it's gotten worse. People do it when they talk so much. My profs do. The one who does it the most is ok with me wearing headphones in class. Most profs don't like that. I don't know what to do though because the sensory deprivation makes me so dizzy.
MD makes me feel distant & dizzy already, so having something in my ears only makes it worse. People really don't understand. Even a doc told me I was rude for (very politely) mentioning that I heard him do it when he talked. I don't know why this is so misunderstood. I understand it's irritating for people to see me flinch......but it's TORTURE for us.

Joanne Gladstone said:

Hello fellow misophonia person.
I have suffered from this as long as I can remember, for more than 40 years.
The number one offending noise is any noises made while a person is eating.
Seriously is it that difficult to chew with your mouth shut? Only last year did I find there is a name for this and others who suffer as well.
I have a twin sister and she has misophonia. We have always been told not to let sounds bother us and that we could control it if we wanted to.
Truth be told, the fact that I have not hurt anyone yet for smacking shows I have tons of control!
I leave the room when noises bother me rather than suffering it out.
Keep ear plugs with you at all times it doesn't get better with age.

[Tila]

Wow, sounds like you see light in a pixilated form! I would like, no love, to "see energy" for a day.
I have some robust 20/20 vision, but nothing like that.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I'm a news junkie. I've always got several tabs up, reading the news on one and listening to a live stream on another or on tv. What drives me nuts is how many people smack when they talk. I follow some wonderful news people on twitter, who are smart & I know they'll provide great news coverage.........but I can never watch some of them because the anchors on their channel smack horribly. I could mute it, but then I'm usually reading something else online or doing something in my apartment. I can't just sit & watch news anymore. I want to listen to it while doing something else & this drives me nuts. Fortunately, there are stations where the anchors smack less. Most people either do it a lot or very rarely. I still hate it, but at least I have options. I was listening to a live stream of the hostage situation at the Discovery building just now & got so irritated because I had to turn it off. I don't like stopping the flow of information just because people can't talk without smacking. I don't know why people do this, but it's infuriating. I had to vent. Thanks for listening. You guys are great.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I'm actually very familiar with Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger's). I'm sure there will be overlap between Maladaptive Daydreaming & lots of other disorders. I don't think they're necessarily related though. It's just a hunch. On my long (over 3 years) journey for answers I've found countless disorders with disconnection & daydreaming as a possible side effect. I'm still certain that Maladaptive Daydreaming is a unique condition in itself. However it never hurts to do research. The information out there can be very confusing. I've thought I've had so many disorders until doctors explained to me that I didn't. Just check them out & if you can see a doctor, they probably WON'T be familiar with Maladaptive Daydreaming as it's not in the DSM yet, but they can tell you whether or not you may have these other conditions aside from it. In the end, don't blindly listen to anyone. If someone tells you you have something that doesn't feel right, go somewhere else, or find a doctor who doesn't need to be right all the time. If I believed every doctor I spoke to, I wouldn't be here finding answers today. I'd still be on anti-depressants that didn't work.

As for sensory sensitivity, there are again more than one disorder that goes along with these symptoms. They all kinda sound the same to me. I haven't been diagnosed with one or the other (Sensory Integrative Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, or whatnot). I just know that it SUCKS & can control much of your life. I refuse to be around people when they're eating & frequently have to leave offices where people are chewing with their mouths open (which I still think is rude, even if I'm extra sensitive to it). I'm always too hot or too cold & always have an itch somewhere. It's very maddening. It's pretty constant. It gets worse when I'm getting irritated & anxious. I remember taking an exam one day and the lady behind me (who even knew I had this, so I was super mad) started popping her gum really loudly throughout the entire exam. That's not one of my really bad sounds. It's just really irritating having that noise. Anyway, getting irritated made every other sound in the room pop out. That's often the way it works. The more distracted or uncomfortable I am, the worse it gets. I try to take my tests at the testing center now. I don't want to chance being around any more gum-chewers.

Luke said:

I think what you are describing is Sensory Processing Disorder. This is very interesting to me, because sensory problems are very common in people with Asperger's Syndrome (stereotyped movements or "stimming" when excited by thoughts is another symptom that many of us MDs seem to have in common with Aspies), and I was just about to create a post about whether there is a connection between MD and Asperger's. I don't have sensory processing issues myself, and I don't think my symptoms are severe enough to be Asperger's, but many of the symptoms are similar to what I experienced as a child (such as difficulties with social interaction and slower development of motor skills). I just wanted to put this out there. More info on these disorders:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_Processing_Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypic_movement_disorder

[snail INFP]

Yes. All of that. I can relate to nearly every word of it, including the part about seeing the air. Here's a site that offers support for people with Sensory-Processing Sensitivity.
http://www.hsperson.com/
I'm not sure how much it will help. The color yellow is so overwhelming for me that I almost always associate it with anxiety when I use it in my abstract art. Other people look at the art and see it as a "warm glow," and I have to explain that there is nothing soft or pleasant about it to me. It is an eye-burning intensity that causes physical pain. My greatest sensitivity is to sounds, but I have found that wearing earplugs most of the time can alleviate the problem as long as I am not in a social setting where I am required to listen to people in a noisy room. The sound that affects me more than any other is the sound of a television or a radio in the background. (I don't own either, although I do get extreme, nearly orgasmic enjoyment from listening to certain kinds of mellow music if I am able to do so with my full attention. I prefer using CDs, which give me more control.) Traffic zooming by is another sound that affects me badly.