Guilt of enjoying my 'other life' so much!

[Karina]

Hi! I'm Karina, and I'm so happy to have found this website! I could never have imagined being able to talk about this with anyone!
I feel very guilty for loving my daydreams so much. I'm married with two teenage children, and I spend way too much time on my own so that I can carry on my daydream, when I should be spending time with my family! I can't wait to get to bed at night so I can shut my eyes and start dreaming, I get quite irritable if I'm interrupted.
For me, I know the things I'm dreaming about are things that I feel are missing from real life. But I feel terribly guilty for saying that as I should be very happy with my life as it is! I feel so sad at times about the fact that I need to do this, and also sad that my dreams won't ever be a reality. They aren't even wild crazy things I dream about, just every day stuff, but mostly they involve one person, who I love and he really loves me! Terrible thing to say when you're married!!
I definitely feel like I'm mad sometimes, but I don't want to stop, I'd miss it too much! So I don't know what the answer is really!? Maybe try and limit the time spent daydreaming....if that's possible!?!?!
Thanks for reading :)

[tasniiem chandraa]

well you are here. so you aren't mad that is  for sure. even i feel sad about things that are missing from my life and day dream about them. however you can add small joys to your life and see how they work for your MD... just a suggestion hope it helps. 

[Karina]

Thank you! I think you're right :)

tasniiem chandraa said:

well you are here. so you aren't mad that is  for sure. even i feel sad about things that are missing from my life and day dream about them. however you can add small joys to your life and see how they work for your MD... just a suggestion hope it helps. 

[Savannah Scott]

I could have wrote that myself. I don't have kids but have been married for almost 18 years. My day dreams revolve around someone I have a very deep crush on which certainly makes me feel guilty. I fully understand the going to bed thing. i do it to and if interrupted I also get peeved.  This has nothing to do with loving or not loving my husband because I do and would do nothing to hurt him. But escaping into my mind with this crush is so nice and relaxing. Honestly when I have had a really good, long "session" I'm actually a happier person and even happier to be with my husband. I'm not even sure how to explain that. I just know the more time I am able to spend "there" the happier and more content I am here. I'm sure a lot of this doesn't make much sense but its the best I can explain it. I just wanted to let you know I have the same problem as you, you're defiantly not alone.

[JenBren]

Your words echo my life almost to a tee.

I've been married for 13 years and have two young children. I do most of my daydreaming at night and also can't wait for each day to end so I can slip into my room and start daydreaming. If my children want to stay up late, I get irritable and angry. I would do anything for them and I give them everything I have all day, but I honestly need this time at night to keep life 'balanced', if that makes sense, so anything that cuts into that time is a big problem for me. 

I have daydreamed for as far back in my childhood as I can remember and discovered MD (and subsequently this website) a few years ago. I went on medication once for depression (after my second child was born) but wasn't able to daydream while on the medication and nearly went mad, so I went off the medication. I am more at peace and happier when I can do the daydreaming. 

Like you, I don't want to stop the daydreams. I have had therapy in the past and was told that as long as the daydreaming doesn't interfere with or take from my daily life, it is a harmless coping mechanism. I truly feel that it helps keep my emotions in check and help me stay happy. I love my family, but I really need the daydreams. Everyone needs their own time and their own thing, and everyone has their own way to cope or relax. I feel like instead of reading or watching tv, I daydream. I will stay up for hours after everyone else has gone to bed, or I'll wake up early in the morning and daydream for an hour or two before I get up. Whatever it takes to get in that time. Unlike your daydreams, mine are completely fantasy and involve a character I created years ago (I've had several characters throughout my lifetime - I'm 47 years old now). 

I have been through periods in life where the daydreaming has taken over in the daytime as well, but those times have been few and far between, and it seems for the most part, I'm able to cope with just a few hours each day. But I have to get those hours at night or they do creep into my days and I get frustrated trying to deal with daily life and get in enough daydreaming time to cope.

So...you are indeed not alone. 

[Sharon]

Wow I could have written the OP myself sounds just like me although I have four kids. I do the same thing, as soon as the smaller kids are in bed I put on my headphone and daydream. I usually have a game such as Candy Crush Saga or something mindless playing as well so other just thinking I am playing a game LOL. 

I also feel I use my DD to fill what is missing in my own life, although my character is not actually "me" I know she is someone I wished I could be. 

[Karina]

It's so nice to hear people say these things, now I know I'm not the only one who can't wait to be alone at night to daydream!! It's 7.30pm now and I've just got in bed so I can begin! :)