I Miss My Fantasy World...

[Audrey]

I have overcome the majority of my MDD and for the most part it has been a godsend because I've been able to get my life back together. I just wish that when I was as stressed out as I currently am I could take a break and enter that realm. But whenever I try, I hit a block. It's so frustrating! Are any of you at this stage? Is there a way that I can use my MDD in moderation for stress relief? I just don't know how to get past this mental block.

[Yolandi Wells]

I understand. I was sick and hospitalized for 4 months. After this I couldn’t DD anymore. I experienced a block. It was a miracle! My life was in a mess, so I tried to DD again. I tried so hard but I couldn’t. After 3 months of trying it finally worked. I could first DD a little, and then it came back fully (after another 3 months). I regret doing this now. How did you overcome your DD and for how long have you been free?

[Sophie]

Your post came at a great time for me. I really need a wake up call.

I'm almost in the same situation as you. My life has also completely changed after cutting down on MD. I'm no longer as attached to my daydreams as I were before, but I get this strange feeling of emptiness. I've been at this stage before - everytime, I got so comfortable with my 'new' life that I didn't want to take the final steps and kill the addiction entirely. I just keep going, my life becoming more and more mundane, untill something tragical happens and my daydreams become important to me again. That's me right now - nothing bad has happened yet, and as such, I can't bring myself to give it that last effort. I'm getting lazy about my MD even though it has stolen my life and so much has been gained from stopping. 

Although I experience the 'now' in glimpses much more often(mostly at the beginning of cutting out most of my MD) I still feel like it's not enough. There's still some underlying dissociation, a fog.

Do you still get this as well?

I do not feel like I have switched entirely(with my goal of MD feeling much more unreal than real life - right now, they feel equally real).

I make it sound as if though I'm in deep despair. Im actually much happier than before. It's just that when I get sad, I can't sit back in passive melancholy like before - I get to feel deep frustration and anger as well. I'm starting to act out. And it sounds like I'm whining - I probably am! - but it's really hard to adjust to this kind of living.

[Audrey]

I've been completely free for about almost a year. My mind still wanders on other things but not on the fantasies I used to have. I'm working and going to school full time, also in a committed relationship. My life has completely transformed but it is all extremely stressful and sometimes I just want to run away from it all and go back to my fantasy world. I'm really stressed out by school right now. I have a huge workload that I need to be concentrating on but when it's time to take a study break I wish I could just escape for awhile. I can't seem to get back there. I know it's a good thing because it keeps me on track. But I miss my "daydreams" and all the characters. Sometimes I wish I didn't have all my new responsibilities and commitments. I'm glad  and very proud of myself that I've come so far but sometimes I really need some time to escape.

[Harper Rays]

I know it's fun to DD and live in the fantasy worlds we each have, but if you've managed to get out of it, I think it's wise not to try to get into it again, even if you think you can just use it for stress-relief. I've had to battle addiction before, and now that I've conquered it, I can clearly see that that's exactly what MD is. It's an addiction to acceptance, to egoism, to escapism. You think you're in control of it at first, but eventually it starts to control you. If I could stop like you have, I would. 

[Amanda Lewone]

Hey. If you were addicted before I don't suggest you go back at all. It will slowly creep back in until it takes over your life. Addiction doesn't like playing a small role in your life. Look for other ways to relieve stress. If you find some, share them with us :)