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Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

Ruminating

I'm curious if any other MDers ruminate.

I started therapy for reasons other than MD. However, daydreaming has come up. It's become apparent to me that MD is a compulsive behavior that's closely linked to another, physical compulsive behavior that I do.

These behaviors are triggered by periods of stress, so I MD most actively when I'm stressed out. For example, if I'm not stressed out and I am bored or I'm cleaning (MD triggers), I may not MD. Instead I end up ruminating.

When I'm not actively MDing, my mind is preoccupied with over thinking other things. It could be anything, but it just sticks in my mind and I can't stop thinking about it.

It's not an intrusive thought (like in Pure O OCD), but so far I've narrowed it down to a few things that I think about often.

Usually I play these thoughts in my head anywhere from 30 minutes to hours a day and I just can't drop it. Before my daughter was born, I did this a lot and just never tried to stop it. It was a big issue for me when I was depressed, and I would have to keep myself busy in order to avoid ruminating (really dark thoughts).

Now, I have to consciously stop myself just so that I can be mentally present around my daughter, but once she's napping or in bed, I just go over it again, over and over and over. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about it unless I do something, like make a to do list, write a letter, look something up online....

Occasionally I daydream these thoughts as scenarios (discussing something with someone, or imagining myself talking to someone).

Does anyone else share this experience?

P.S: Apologies for the long post!

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Permalink Reply by Emma on June 6, 2015 at 7:06pm

Yes absolutely, I do this. I had no idea it was a thing until your post. I just read the Wiki page on rumination. That's me. Wow.

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Permalink Reply by Alta Morden on June 7, 2015 at 12:43pm

I looked it up too. Had no idea that it had a name. So, yes, me as well.

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Permalink Reply by Kade Scoular on June 11, 2015 at 6:45pm

Yes, in fact I ruminate all the time regardless of what I am doing, and today the dark thoughts got so bad that I started to cry. But I have realized that these thoughts are lies and products of my anxiety which is quite severe. Do not give them the time of day or they will consume you.