New, and really struggling. Anyone have the same type of daydreams?

[Haley Blep]

Hi everyone.  My names Haley.  This is my first post here.  Sorry if it's too long!  

 

Ever since I can remember (I guess it started at around 6 years old) I've been obsessed with my daydreams.  Everytime my family took a long trip I would get excited because I could make up these stories while I listened to music.  I guess back then it seemed pretty innocent.  Anyway, I'm still doing this now, and I still listen to music while I do it.  Today I spent just about the entire day listening to the same two or three  songs over and over while I daydreamed.  I actually spend a lot of days like this, and it's always while I listen to music and bob back and forth or swing my foot back and forth.  I've also noticed that whenever I am upset or depressed feeling I do this more.  I know this because I've been suffering from OCD lately (it's not officially diagnosed, but my dad is a doctor and thinks I have it, and when talking to other OCD people it is fairly obvious to see), so I spend even more time daydreaming nowadays beacuse it helps to get rid of intrusive thoughts for short amounts of time.  I always feel like a zombie after days like these, and I feel like I don't enjoy my real life very much.

 

The reason I'm not sure whether or not I have it is because my daydreams are not focused on my self.  For as long as I can remember my daydreams have revolved around a made up boy or man who becomes romantically involved with me.  So I'm in my stories.... but I'm a side character, which seems rather unhealthy.  So throughout my entire life I've been designing every aspect of this guy and giving him everything that I think is perfect (which of course has changed a million times).  And then I imagine scenes of him interacting with other made up characters, plus people that I know in real life, plus myself, for hours at a time.  Sometimes this transforms into a sexual fantasy.  I've also always been really insecure about real life dating and romance.  (It upsets me very much that I've never been on a date before) Can anyone relate?

[Nicole]

I have similar daydreams that I write into stories but I'm not a side character in them and all are sexual. The thing is sexual daydreams didn't really start until i was 18 (21 now).

 

I used to just daydream about talking to people and having a lot of friends (due to being bullied) when I was younger, like 8 or 9.

[H]

Hello,  Haley!

 

I do not have daydreams like those, but I replay events in my mind very often. Sometimes it is very hard for me to sleep, or to focus on the task at hand. The only measure that always works for me, and at the same time making me happy, is going for a jog or any kind of excerise that makes me tired. Listening to music and making the heart pump blood into arms and legs focusing only on breathing and smooth music.

 

The positive side effect is the release of endorphins at the end of the session and the good feeling of a relaxed body and mind.

 

If you haven't tried this allready I'd advice you to find some sort of excercise that you enjoy.

 

          I have lived north of the Polar Circle  a large part of my life, up there we have about two months each year when we get no sunlight. This results in a vitamin deficiency that leads to a hormone imbalance and my mood always drop for two-three months. Being depressed can be a result from an imbalance in nutrition.

 

I hope this helps

 

- Henrik

[Paris]

I have a huge problem with romantic and sexual daydreams. The sexual daydreams especially are the hardest to avoid slipping into, for me.... -_- Both because I want sex and because I have extremely low self-esteem so it makes me happy to imagine being a beautiful woman that everyone desires

[Creator]

I can definitely relate, whenever our family goes on long trips, I too listen to music and just drift off... 

As to your romantic daydreaming, I have definitely pictured the guy I want over and over and over again (before I found my boyfriend of course, now I only daydream of him)

While I would daydream about this guy, I also was very uncomfortable romantically and had never been in a relationship. 

But I can't say that my daydreams have been about someone else rather than myself, in a way, I guess that's very selfish for me to always have the daydream circling myself. 

But maybe the fact that yours do not revolve around you symbolizes something in your subconscious. Are you insecure about yourself maybe? That's not uncommon here. 

Don't worry about your different daydreams. You're not alone. 

[Shona MacDonald]

I definitely can relate to the first half of your post - when I have a day to myself (which is rare, being a full time student and having a part time job) I often find myself listening to music and just day dreaming.

But I also can relate to part of your problem - recently, a lot of my day dreams have involved relationships with a "perfect" guy. It's tough, because I build up imaginary people in my head, and (of course) it's everything I could want in someone I'd want to share my life. In real life, I have huge boundary issues. I can't respond to anyone who gives off a vibe stronger than mildly interested. 

I like day dreaming about "perfect" other halves because it's easier to control the relationship when the relationship is all in my head. It can go as slow (or fast) as I want it to, and nothing is tainted by real life problems. Yeah, sometimes the day dreams turn sexual, but we're humans - it's a natural instinct! 

I really hope you can break out of your depressive cycle. It's hard to do, I normally have to wait until my own mind is fed up of being down all the time, but hopefully you can find a way to do it. Like Henrik suggested, I also find exercising a good way of breaking out of my thoughts and my bad mood days. 

[Marie]

My day dreams that focus on my almost never have other characters in them. Most of my daydreams revolve around other characters and their adventures. I think this is partly because I want to be a writer and putting in self-insert characters is kind of frowned upon by much of the internet nowadays.

I haven't ever had sexual dreams with my characters, I have had day dreams where my characters have sex with each other. I also don't really ever feel romantically attracted to my any of my characters, unless I am imagining the story from the point of a character who is. I think this is because they feel a bit more like children or friends.

Although... I am remembering part of a daydream I had for a while that did focus around me and had me and a guy in another world falling in love and fighting together.

But I can defiantly relate to the music and long car trip thing. I actually love going on long car trips because of this. I hope it isn't going to cause trouble when I get around to learning to drive...

[stormy]

Hey,

I can totally relate.  Always been shy and awkward and I guess not confident in myself.  Most of my daydreams are about a fictional man.  Like you, he has changed several times as well.  I guess because I've never experienced it in real life and have always had trouble trusting people, I created this perfect male and also an in depth background and life for him.  Perfect man and friends, I am always there but so are other people.  I know exactly how you feel.