What helps?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Now that we've had some time to think about this & discuss it, let's start creating a plan to help.  Let's try and make a list that we can refer to & refer others to.  Here's my question:

What helps? 

Not just what helps you stop daydreaming.  This is a condition we need to learn to live with. 

What helps in any way possible?  Interpret that in every way possible, and be as specific as possible. 

Some ways you can think of it:

What helps make your life better?

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

What makes your daydreams more productive?

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

What helps you feel stronger?

What helps you feel safer?

What helps you feel more confident?

Let’s act like we’re compiling a list of things to tell new people who’re just figuring out they’re going through this & are not sure what to do.  What advice would you give them to help them feel more empowered?

[Shion]

When I daydream, I have the need to hold and twiddle objects like pencils, pens, anything stick like. Lately it's those sticks you can find in shoe boxes at shoe stores (they have that curve on one end). Well I notice I tend not to have the need to hold them if Im wearing a glove that makes it harder to keep my hand in a fist. But the side effect is my hand will somehow feel tired. This makes me not really want to daydream because I mentally need that object as I do it. Im not sure if anyone else really experienced this.

[Waq]

Hi,

I think I have day dreamed most of my life.  Don't know when it started. It is always at its worst when I was/am studying. I took longer to get through every exam that I took. Especially when it came to exams, I would make the effort i.e. was home, in my room, book open in front of me, but weeks could go by and I would not have finished a page.

Luckily, before I could finish school I got into the work force, been there for 12 years now. DD had never effected my productivity. I have always been an above average/excellent performer. I continued studying while working, in fact if I would say I studied most of the last 12 years it would not be wrong. From the outside, it never occurred to anyone that something was wrong because I was working and climbing up the ladder, and of course was not accountable to anyone when it came to studying or finishing what I had started.

So basically, I continued studying, got great qualifications, but what would a normal person to 3 years to complete took me 6 years and so on an so forth. I have wasted too many years-studying. Basically pacing back and forth in my room, living imaginary times & lives, having arguments in my head and building intricate scenarios & castles.

I was in a relationship, which too broke down partially because of this what I had in my head. My girl friend would always ask me, what was I thinking. "a penny for your thoughts".  All I wanted was to be alone. In my room.

Anyways to get the story short. I did not need to study or do intellectual work of my own until last year. When I had to move to another country and start over again. I had to apply for jobs "online" and study. I haven't been able to do both. Right now I am doing a menial job, just because I cant apply myself to researching for opportunities and studying for a certification I need to work.

So getting on to the solution. I think the solution lies in what "Will" suggested. Being in a public place, where one cannot do the full blown day dreaming.  I realize this also because in years/semesters I did group study, I was at the top of my class. Literally. No. 1. 

So from tomorrow, I am taking my books to the library, lets see how it goes. 

If anyone has any suggestion, lets share it. I think talking about our problem and the possible solutions is the best thing we can do.

[Pratyush Srivastava]

I can dream about a single story whole day long without getting bored.I don't want to stop it. I started enjoying it and soon all of the stories became more light and pleasant. It is a problem when I have to study so I started using a huge countdown timer with small goals like 1 or two pages. One habbit we find common to all MDDs - no one likes to give any hint to others that he/she had been dreaming. I tried to tap this tendency and started studying in library especially with a friend who is on the same topic. They woud poke me if I was slow. I also try to deliberately trigger and finish off any pending stories while doing daily chores so that I am less occupied during classes. I don't watch movies just before sleeping else it would keep replaying the entire morning. With all modesty I want to share that I have always been an above average student (got > 99 percentile in a countrywide engineering entrance exam) my friends say, I am usually better than others while studying in group but slowest if studying alone.

[Rosethewolf]

1. and 2.When I am doing something that keeps me focused or hanging out with my friends, having an awesome time

3.,9.,10, 11. In my "other world" I am the one in control. I feel more in charge and it makes me feel confident. I feel safe there because of the people I created there are meant to protect me or make me happy. I have powers there and because I am the one in charge I feel stronger.

4.Music is a key trigger to my daydreams because it makes it more vivid. My daydreams always taking a supernatural turn with dragons, faeries, and other supernatural creatures. Because my daydreams are always so supernatural, it doesn't make me feel like I should be having them everyday because I want to spend my time in the real world.

If I daydream to much while expressing lots of emotions I may feel sluggish afterwards.

[Rosethewolf]

thisw is a really good idea. Sometimes I could just be bored and suddenly I am thrown into my world. Maybe bringing something from the real world to my dreams can help me remember.  It is kinda like the movie "inception".
 
Will said:

In order to prevent daydreaming from getting in the way of studying, the only thing that seems to help me is making the MAJOR effort to "be" in a place AND a position where I can't daydream in a full-blown way (ie pacing)... I know this is not a mind blowing answer, but it really is the only thing that seems to work.

In general, "public" places are perhaps the best places to be. For example, if I am in public, for obvious fear of embarrassment, I may daydream, but at least I'll be sitting down. The benefit of this is that periodically, I'll "wake up" and see my work, and hopefully... just hopefully, at some point I'll find that I'll be able to remove myself from the pleasurable feedback loop of daydreaming and actually get some work done.

Based on this idea, when home alone, I have recently considered trying to carry the textbook I am working on if I can "catch myself" going to daydream. My reasoning, the more reality that I can carry with me / have accessible, the more my surroundings remind and point me back to reality, perhaps, the better my chances are to remember and get myself to do what I really need to be doing.

I'm going to continue to think about this topic more... Please feel free to tell me your thoughts. :)

[Bee Anchor]

 Has any one tried cutting out gluten (at least wheat) and dairy /also processed foods? I have and its reduced my DD by 70 % . On some days I tried to DD and I could not .....and other days its really mild and easy to dismiss -like  normal daydreaming . I also recommend exercising  45 mins in morning and evening at moderate intensity. Best I ever felt in my entire life!!!

[Tulpa461]

Present moment meditation helps.  Being busy and intellectually occupied helps.  Having a consistent creative outlet helps.

Doing for others helps.  When it gets to be too much it's better not to be alone.

[Tulpa461]

 Yes that helped me cutting back on carbohydrates and sugar.  I am not gluten free but have reduced it.  Still working on the processed foods issue.  Good advice.

[Melinda]

I just started working out.  I take a few classes for toning.  Im noticing it helps so much.

[Melinda]

Is there a difference between mood stabilizers and normal bi-polar meds?

lulu ab said:

I went to see my doctor and she started my mood stabilizer again and also referred to me to psychiatrist to discuss my medication. Amazing that she completely understood  MDing problem and she said it is normal if I have bipolar disorder etc. also she said it might be more like a chemical problem in the brain rather than just a depression.

So I am waiting for my appointment with the psychiatrist but I can tell the difference already after starting  my mood stabilizer ( also an epilepsy drug) .It has been a week and I am more into real life, I see things more clearly, I don't catch myself zoning out, I find myself thinking about a situation rather than making it a story in my dream world which is fantastic for me. I am back to my drawings as well which is all I wanted. My MD world is so exhausting I couldn't pick a pencil to draw a line for months. 

So according me, MDing  is a biological /chemical problem that should be treated accordingly and it is not a choice. May be a coping mechanism but not only because we are emotionally hyper sensitive but also we physically have something missing that is the reason of hyper sensitivity at the first place. 

PS my other coping Technic about feeling better worked a little bit as well 

[D. E. Seyer]

I've noticed that I'm usually tired, sad or angry when I feel the craving to daydream. So, I either to need to purge my anger or need some love and comfort.

What helps? *sigh* being around people and keeping busy with any activity. It's when I'm alone and there's nothing to distract me from my loneliness that I can't stop myself.

[Emma]

What helps make your life better?

Regular routines, focusing on others, staying busy

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

Life has been less and less fulfilling everyday.  I don't think I have what it takes to make it more fulfilling and I don't know what to do about that.

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

Routines, productivity

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

I daydream less when I'm engaged with other people and when I'm happy.  I daydream more when I'm stressed, depressed or busy with mindless work.

What makes your daydreams more productive?

My daydreams are never productive.

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

Sometimes I'll get really into  a particular moment and be unable to get to doing things in real life because I'll stay in bed or go for a drive.  Then I feel sluggish and tired all day.

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

I do not have any positive experiences or feelings about my daydreams.  I hate that I do this.

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

They always make me feel sluggish

What helps you feel stronger?

What helps you feel safer?

What helps you feel more confident?

Look, seriously I'm at a point in my life where I've achieved a lot of the things I used to be working towards.  Working towards those things used to make me feel strong, safe, confident and productive, but now that I have them, I just feel bored.  I'm not good enough at anything to really pursue something and enjoy the flow of creativity and work.  I've built a pretty comfortable existence now and so I also don't have the motivation of strife to get me going.  I just wake up everyday and wonder what the hell I'm supposed to do with myself for the next few decades, and the things that I used to enjoy have become boring.  Also some bad things have happened that can't be undone.  What I need is to be good at something and have a thing to pursue.  But I'm not good at anything and so I just go through the motions every single day, bored and depressed, and really the daydreams are the only thing interesting in my life.  It's nice to ask what makes things better, but I can't think of anything.  Sometimes I think I should just have kids just to have something to do and to be forced to be busy, but almost everyone I know who has kids hates their daily life.  Their kids drive them nuts even though they love them.  They resent them, and when they are teenagers they really make them miserable.  I would be that sort of parent, so I don't have kids either.  And in the end, I just don't really have much reason to get out of bed.