ROOT CAUSE OF MD

[sky high]

hey every one after doing some research on daydreaming i have concluded that the people who have this problem actually suffer from low self esteem  because of which they create a fantasy world where they a respected by others where they don't feel they are not good at anything ,,,,,,,,,,,SO i want you people to tell that do you have low self   esteem or not ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

plz start your comment by saying yes or no then in the next line continue your comment

[DreamingFish]

I don't remember not having MD. My parents thought I was autistic because of my repetitive movements. This was when I was 3 or 4. I really don't know how a toddler can develop MD... so I'm going to say that I was probably born with this. 

[sky high]

yes i have heard meditation works,,,, many people came out of MD with help of meditation only ,,,Mind full meditation is the remedy for MD ,,,

Satchi R said:

Man...some real intelligent and insightful stuff.Do you think meditation is the key?

[molly hodge]

ik that i have had MD as long as i can remember it probably has something to do with my imagination idk but i was way too young to worry about my self esteem i was just a happy carefree child

[Lisa p]

I agree that mine was from low self esteem and and being lonely. Not sure about how others started.

[Elaine Fitzgerald]

Yes, I do have self-esteem issues.  I had this since I was in elementary school.   The youngest of four. An older sister who was, in my eyes, was great at everything she did, popular, beautiful, talented and the family favorite.  An older brother who thought the world of my sister and the oldest who never understood me. I felt like Cinderalla only I wasn't the good one. Did I have a low-self esteem that is why I daydreamed? Or did I daydream which caused me to have a low-self esteem? I have always been a daydreamer as far back as I can remember (4-5 years old) and I think at that age kids have great self-esteems.  But why did I go into the daydream to begin with if I was happy and confident? This is why I am trying to seek help and get some of these questions answered so I can start my life. Right now, I can tell you my self-esteem is low as you can get.  I feel ashamed, guilty, and most of all embaressed.

[Gianna Deloro]

Yes! I have extreme low self esteem, but I've been doing this since I was a kid. Kids can't have low self esteem, right? I'm not sure. And now that I think about it, I tend to daydream less when I'm in a good mood, but that doesn't stop be from daydreaming when I'm all alone with nothing to do.
My daydreams are very self-centered *hangs head* but I think that comes from me being ignored by many people, or feeling ignored at least.

[Josie]

Hi, brand new here.

I think self-esteem is a big part of it.

More specifically, and at least in my case, I think it's to do with desperately wanting acceptance from people. Not only that, but it's about wanting so desperately to be successful in life. However, the anxiety caused by thinking about just how to go about achieving your goals, not to mention being terrified of failing at them, is just sooo great that it is utterly paralyzing. So you avoid confronting reality, and go back to daydreaming obsessively instead.  It is much easier to just imagine that you have the great, perfect life that you want, than to actually attempt to take the many real, tangible, challenging, and time-consuming steps in order to attain said life. In your fantasy world, you can just erase or magically work around any obstacles that you would certainly face in real life, and you can get to your (probably unrealistic) goals in light speed.

I think this avoidance/anxiety factor is more central to maladaptive daydreaming than self esteem is. But, this avoidance/anxiety creates a vicious cycle which ultimately leads to low self esteem. I think daydreaming for people like us is a defense mechanism our psyche employs to combat the perpetual existential angst we feel about our lives, and how we're kind of really sucking at them.

Yup... I'm familiar with this maladaptive daydreaming stuff. Still utterly shocked and amazed that so many other people are too. For many, many years I truly thought I was alone. Thank you all for existing and making me feel a lot better. :)

[J Peters]

Gianna Deloro said:

Yes! I have extreme low self esteem, but I've been doing this since I was a kid. Kids can't have low self esteem, right? I'm not sure. And now that I think about it, I tend to daydream less when I'm in a good mood, but that doesn't stop be from daydreaming when I'm all alone with nothing to do.
My daydreams are very self-centered *hangs head* but I think that comes from me being ignored by many people, or feeling ignored at least.

Don't hang your head, hon.  I am the same way - I am self-centered in my DDs, too and like you, it's from feeling invisible in real life. I am nothing special in reality - I am not  good at anything no matter how hard I try or practice,  and I am the only one in the family who has absolutely zero talent and/or beauty.  I can't compete in real life. But in my DDs I am extraordinary.  

[sky high]

me too i have daydreams that r self centered ,,,,,,i dont think it is true that even if u try with yur full heart u cant achieve it (what ever u want to),,,,,if it does not work in one way try another way till u get it ,,,,,,,i have not given up i think i can stop daydreaming and live my life to full extend and be a successful person in life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the things u told about yur self J PETERS i feel i had the same opinion about my self few years back,,,,, ,,,,,,BUT now i know giving up is not a option try try again or die trying these are the only two option in life no other option exist ,,,,
J Peters said:

Gianna Deloro said:

Yes! I have extreme low self esteem, but I've been doing this since I was a kid. Kids can't have low self esteem, right? I'm not sure. And now that I think about it, I tend to daydream less when I'm in a good mood, but that doesn't stop be from daydreaming when I'm all alone with nothing to do.
My daydreams are very self-centered *hangs head* but I think that comes from me being ignored by many people, or feeling ignored at least.

Don't hang your head, hon.  I am the same way - I am self-centered in my DDs, too and like you, it's from feeling invisible in real life. I am nothing special in reality - I am not  good at anything no matter how hard I try or practice,  and I am the only one in the family who has absolutely zero talent and/or beauty.  I can't compete in real life. But in my DDs I am extraordinary.  

[littleschrodinger'scat]

No.

I don't have high or low self-esteem. I think MD can be cause by a lot of different things such as, trauma, low-self esteem, a lack of friends, etc. I don't think that there is one, single cause.

[Tinkerbell]

I agree.  This is the same for me also and I think this is why my MD started.
 
LordXephere said:

I think the root cause of MD is being highly imaginative and having to be subjected to a hostile or uncomfortable environment along with feeling unhappy, and alone in real life. In my case I was always kind of dreamy and absent-minded to begin with, but around the 5th grade, I was starting to get severely teased, bullied and ridiculed. This was seemingly endless and would continue all the way until around my junior year in high school. I was very depressed and started to feel that the world was a cruel and hostile place where no matter where I went people hated me. This is what caused my daydreams to get stronger and all-encompassing. When I felt rejected, unloved and worthless, I just wanted to escape into a world where I had everything I wanted. I wanted to fantasize about what it was like actually to be respected and liked by people.

As a teen, I had extremely low self esteem and felt quite worthless and inferior. I felt like I wanted to be someone else. I would fantasize about being a fantasy version of myself who is an important positive, inspirational and influential figure in society like an activist, musician, or writer. I also created a character based on this fantasy self, who is a magical knight with mystical powers who goes on quests to fight against evil.

By the time I started college I basically created an entire world of characters, situations and ideas that is basically existing as a parallel universe that I can visit at any time. This is when I was at my worst. I felt even more empty than I had ever felt. I had more and more anxiety and fear around people that I would avoid having anything to do with them altogether, which caused me to be completely alone and friendless once again.

So basically MD is what happens to people with overactive minds, who are subjected to the worst things in life and become so depressed, frustrated and fearful of the world that they begin to create their own.

[Satchi R]

It's so weird.  I can spend hours and hours alone perfectly content just daydreaming.It's definitely a problem but it feels so euphoric.  I wonder what will help it go away.It's like being out of this world