ROOT CAUSE OF MD

[sky high]

hey every one after doing some research on daydreaming i have concluded that the people who have this problem actually suffer from low self esteem  because of which they create a fantasy world where they a respected by others where they don't feel they are not good at anything ,,,,,,,,,,,SO i want you people to tell that do you have low self   esteem or not ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

plz start your comment by saying yes or no then in the next line continue your comment

[Roseley Hahn]

I think that is partially true for some people. Me on one hand, I only created my fantasy because I have a really strict scary Korean mother who pushes academics. She has many restrictions for me and my sister and gives us few freedoms and on many occasions I would fantasize about running away. So this may be true for some people who don't get love or attention from people. I also think I have MD because I have a "perfect" in my mind older sister who does everything, well, perfect. So I felt like the attention never was on me but I never feel like I have a low self esteem, just a little lonely at some times.

[Bee Anchor]

 We just  don't fit in..... MD is like an oxygen mask used to survive  in this strange world.

[neo]

no and yes.......i think in both ways depending on situations, i can tell you that i feel very low at times and delve in my own fantasy world thinking abt alternate possibilities and reactions of people or something that makes me feel good.

[Lauren M]

My self-esteem varies depending on the type of daydream I'm exiting from. If it's one where my character was a weak person then I tend to feel that way in real life for a few hours. My daydreams have an after effect for a few minutes to a couple of hours. My personality isn't the same. I guess my mind has to load my default personality and it takes a while.

I have my own theory as to why I believe maladaptive daydreaming occurs and possibly how to remedy it. I think we have untrained minds. We're like unprogrammed computers. Until we learn how to use our minds properly, we're on our own program. By "properly" I mean using our minds in ways that benefit our real lives and cause us to have positive impact on those around us. We spend a lot of time playing around in our thoughts instead of pausing our thoughts and realizing we aren't our thoughts. We're simply witnessing the thinking of thoughts that could be stemming from anywhere. Some of these things are probably coming from decades ago and have nothing to do with today. Yet, we watch the movies being looped and we listen to the conversations being replayed by our minds. We have to close the curtains, applaud and go home. The show has to be over...or else it'll just keep going. This is how it hijacks our lives and our reasons for living. Our minds must be trained to shut the show down and never start it up again. When you press play again, it will be waiting for you and ready to welcome you back with open arms. The fantasies will be even more addicting than before. That's why you don't ever return to it once you've found a way out. I've tried and failed probably over a thousand times from tender age of 9 all the way to 24. The best solution thus far has been knowledge. The knowledge that the condition has an actual name. That part was groundbreaking. Next was finding a community of people who might be suffering from the same mental inconvenience. Then how to approach the problem. Once we know how to approach it then we can start removing it from our lives.

[sky high]

thats wht i am trying to do ,,,,,stop all this ,,,i have been trying this out for many years i guess i enjoy it a lot thats the only reason that i keep on falling for it again and again ,,,,,but in the end i know that its not real and because of this only i am not able to do things up to even a normal level leave about doing things up to my best ,,,,,,,i know i am better than this just if i leave this day dreaming i will reach the heights which i have never even dreamt of ,,,,

this is the only problem in my life,,,:(:(

Lauren said:

My self-esteem varies depending on the type of daydream I'm exiting from. If it's one where my character was a weak person then I tend to feel that way in real life for a few hours. My daydreams have an after effect for a few minutes to a couple of hours. My personality isn't the same. I guess my mind has to load my default personality and it takes a while.

I have my own theory as to why I believe maladaptive daydreaming occurs and possibly how to remedy it. I think we have untrained minds. We're like unprogrammed computers. Until we learn how to use our minds properly, we're on our own program. By "properly" I mean using our minds in ways that benefit our real lives and cause us to have positive impact on those around us. We spend a lot of time playing around in our thoughts instead of pausing our thoughts and realizing we aren't our thoughts. We're simply witnessing the thinking of thoughts that could be stemming from anywhere. Some of these things are probably coming from decades ago and have nothing to do with today. Yet, we watch the movies being looped and we listen to the conversations being replayed by our minds. We have to close the curtains, applaud and go home. The show has to be over...or else it'll just keep going. This is how it hijacks our lives and our reasons for living. Our minds must be trained to shut the show down and never start it up again. When you press play again, it will be waiting for you and ready to welcome you back with open arms. The fantasies will be even more addicting than before. That's why you don't ever return to it once you've found a way out. I've tried and failed probably over a thousand times from tender age of 9 all the way to 24. The best solution thus far has been knowledge. The knowledge that the condition has an actual name. That part was groundbreaking. Next was finding a community of people who might be suffering from the same mental inconvenience. Then how to approach the problem. Once we know how to approach it then we can start removing it from our lives.

[Elizabeth]

I think that might be part of it for many people, but I'm sure that's not the only cause. The vast majority of people with low self-esteem have never experienced MD, and on the other hand there are people who daydream excessively and don't have low self-esteem. Personally for me it is partly a way to deal with extremely low self-esteem, but there are other reasons I do it too. I can't say exactly what the reasons are, but I do know I have obsessive compulsive tendencies and an addictive personality, and I'm pretty sure that has a great deal to do with it. Also, I don't always daydream that i am respected or good at things, sometimes I just do it because i want to say something but don't have anyone to talk to. But like the first commenter said, the thoughts are not something I create on purpose, they are a compulsion that my brain does unconsciously. 

[LaSerena]

Basically, I have quite high self esteem, but this tends to fluctuate with my mood.

My own MDs I think started around school age.  Bullied constantly, scared to go to school, but going anyway because if I didn't I'd get in trouble at home.  I had to deal with the bullies myself because the teachers didn't do anything.  I created a fantasy world where I could be a stronger person, able to protect myself from the bullies.  This only made things worse because I brought it into the real world to help me cope.  So I got bullied more - it became a vicious circle.

I'm an introvert by nature, and have a creative imagination.  I think for me, the mds are a way for me to get the respect and validation I've never felt from real life.  In my md world I can have family and friends.  I can be the type of person I would like to be, but would never have the chance to be in real life.  However, this does come at a price.

I've noticed I've been spending a lot of time at home.  Nothing new there, but this sometimes leads to a sense (for me at least) of disconnect from the real world.  Other people have normal lives, families, friends - while I've got an imaginary set of characters I interact with instead.  When I have a low mood, the mds change in character to reflect this, and become darker.

[roxy]

  My self confidence has improved but I still daydream so I'm not sure there is a cut and dry answer.  When I'm depressed I daydream a lot more then when I'm not. However, if ever I'm alone  I am tempted to daydream especially when there is music on.  I guess I don't agree or disagree with your idea but I feel its a bit more complex for me

[Satchi R]

Hey.  That's so true.  I have low self-esteem and I'm attracted to so many things that highlight my low self-esteem.  It can be changed though...don't you think?

[Satchi R]

Man...some real intelligent and insightful stuff.Do you think meditation is the key?

sky high said:

thats wht i am trying to do ,,,,,stop all this ,,,i have been trying this out for many years i guess i enjoy it a lot thats the only reason that i keep on falling for it again and again ,,,,,but in the end i know that its not real and because of this only i am not able to do things up to even a normal level leave about doing things up to my best ,,,,,,,i know i am better than this just if i leave this day dreaming i will reach the heights which i have never even dreamt of ,,,,

this is the only problem in my life,,,:(:(

Lauren said:

My self-esteem varies depending on the type of daydream I'm exiting from. If it's one where my character was a weak person then I tend to feel that way in real life for a few hours. My daydreams have an after effect for a few minutes to a couple of hours. My personality isn't the same. I guess my mind has to load my default personality and it takes a while.

I have my own theory as to why I believe maladaptive daydreaming occurs and possibly how to remedy it. I think we have untrained minds. We're like unprogrammed computers. Until we learn how to use our minds properly, we're on our own program. By "properly" I mean using our minds in ways that benefit our real lives and cause us to have positive impact on those around us. We spend a lot of time playing around in our thoughts instead of pausing our thoughts and realizing we aren't our thoughts. We're simply witnessing the thinking of thoughts that could be stemming from anywhere. Some of these things are probably coming from decades ago and have nothing to do with today. Yet, we watch the movies being looped and we listen to the conversations being replayed by our minds. We have to close the curtains, applaud and go home. The show has to be over...or else it'll just keep going. This is how it hijacks our lives and our reasons for living. Our minds must be trained to shut the show down and never start it up again. When you press play again, it will be waiting for you and ready to welcome you back with open arms. The fantasies will be even more addicting than before. That's why you don't ever return to it once you've found a way out. I've tried and failed probably over a thousand times from tender age of 9 all the way to 24. The best solution thus far has been knowledge. The knowledge that the condition has an actual name. That part was groundbreaking. Next was finding a community of people who might be suffering from the same mental inconvenience. Then how to approach the problem. Once we know how to approach it then we can start removing it from our lives.

[Lauren M]

I truly do believe it's the key! Or at least one key. Everyone here is so different that different things may work. I saw someone post that they were able to quit cold turkey. Another person said a certain drug helped them. Neither have worked for me, but observing my thoughts has helped. When I'm not observing my thoughts, the urge to daydream becomes uncontrollable. At times I forget to stay in observation mode. I don't beat myself up for forgetting. I have to be patient with myself and not get upset when I fall for the daydreams. They aren't lasting as long lately. I find myself going in and out of them and then back to observing. So, observation is definitely becoming dominate. To test out it's effectiveness, I try staying in observation mode (observing my thoughts and emotions) when interacting with others. Well, it turns out that I feel very certain of myself when I'm around lots of people. As a mater of fact, I become a social butterfly when in observation mode. I know exactly what to say and how to say it. It feels the way reality should feel. I'm also not afraid of anything during observation. I am usually afraid of defending myself or offending other people. When I'm observing, I know how to defend myself and my beliefs or political position without offending anyone. I've sparked a couple of great debates and was able to leave it feeling friendly towards others. During these social highs, I get the same fulfillment as achieved in daydreaming. So, it's definitely an effective approach though it's not error free, because my mind is still rather weak. I'm not Buddha yet.lol It will take time to become a master at it. :-)

Satchi R said:

Man...some real intelligent and insightful stuff.Do you think meditation is the key?

sky high said:

thats wht i am trying to do ,,,,,stop all this ,,,i have been trying this out for many years i guess i enjoy it a lot thats the only reason that i keep on falling for it again and again ,,,,,but in the end i know that its not real and because of this only i am not able to do things up to even a normal level leave about doing things up to my best ,,,,,,,i know i am better than this just if i leave this day dreaming i will reach the heights which i have never even dreamt of ,,,,

this is the only problem in my life,,,:(:(

Lauren said:

My self-esteem varies depending on the type of daydream I'm exiting from. If it's one where my character was a weak person then I tend to feel that way in real life for a few hours. My daydreams have an after effect for a few minutes to a couple of hours. My personality isn't the same. I guess my mind has to load my default personality and it takes a while.

I have my own theory as to why I believe maladaptive daydreaming occurs and possibly how to remedy it. I think we have untrained minds. We're like unprogrammed computers. Until we learn how to use our minds properly, we're on our own program. By "properly" I mean using our minds in ways that benefit our real lives and cause us to have positive impact on those around us. We spend a lot of time playing around in our thoughts instead of pausing our thoughts and realizing we aren't our thoughts. We're simply witnessing the thinking of thoughts that could be stemming from anywhere. Some of these things are probably coming from decades ago and have nothing to do with today. Yet, we watch the movies being looped and we listen to the conversations being replayed by our minds. We have to close the curtains, applaud and go home. The show has to be over...or else it'll just keep going. This is how it hijacks our lives and our reasons for living. Our minds must be trained to shut the show down and never start it up again. When you press play again, it will be waiting for you and ready to welcome you back with open arms. The fantasies will be even more addicting than before. That's why you don't ever return to it once you've found a way out. I've tried and failed probably over a thousand times from tender age of 9 all the way to 24. The best solution thus far has been knowledge. The knowledge that the condition has an actual name. That part was groundbreaking. Next was finding a community of people who might be suffering from the same mental inconvenience. Then how to approach the problem. Once we know how to approach it then we can start removing it from our lives.

[Elizabeth]

Lauren, what exactly do you mean by observing? I think I've been trying to do something like that, but I'm not really sure if I'm doing it right...