Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I remember in 7th grade, I craved adventure. I began to live in my head the fantasies of being my favorite anime character and trying to think of how I could somehow make it a reality. So I was just wondering. Do we constantly play pretend because reality isn't fulfilling us? Like a hole that only the illusion of living in our dreams can fill?
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Oh, I think so. Or if not boring, simply not enough in some way. I think I started my daydreaming when I was about 7 or 8. I'm from a very traditional family, and while my dad was secretly proud of my abilities in math and science, I was told constantly that I would have to give up all that "juvenile" ambition when I grew up and just have babies. My first daydreams were about being a famous scientist. I started inserting my fantasy characters into the science books I was reading. Then Star Trek, of course! (I'm obviously much older than you; I'm talking about the original William Shatner/Leonard Nimoy Star Trek, not TNG or any of the others. And anime hadn't even been invented yet -- or at least wasn't known in the USA!)
That's probably true for many of us. And even if our realities aren't "boring" they are obviously missing something or else living in our daydreams would serve no purpose for us and we'd quit doing it.
This has often been my thought. I have always been an avid reader and then real life was never as exciting/interesting as the stories or my dd. I am also an independent person and rather introverted. I find it hard to separate different pieces of the puzzle to determine if one leads to the other or influences but I do know that my real life definitely leaves something to be desired. Real life is full of all the things I "have to do" while dd allows me to "experience" the things I "want to do"
I think it depends on how maladaptive a person's DDing is. It can be a simple escape from boredom, normal people DD when they're bored. But for those with severe MD it doesn't matter how exciting your life may be, the dreams over power you anyway, even when you are not bored. My perspective is different then most because I did not start DDing at a young age. Something went wrong in my brain in April of 2011. And the "default network" has not shut off since. So I remember what it was like not to DD excessively, and I didn't "develop" the habit. It was forced on me.
I can see how that would be different. I have been dding since I can remember. Even as a young child I spent significant time dding.
DD serves a purpose in our lives. What we can't achieve in real life, we can achieve in our daydreams. Daydreams make the impossible happen. In real life, I feel like such a failure, but in my fantasy world, I have a DD character who is successful in almost everything that she does - and through her I feel empowered.
I also wonder what goes on in other people's heads. Sometimes I wonder if all our minds are this way, but I don't think it is. Maybe it depends on how big your imagination is.
JoJ said:
Very interesting greyartist that you feel it was forced on you. I won't ask what happened, but am wondering if you know or have an idea of the what that went wrong to start it. Also wondering since you have a clear date when things changed what did your mind do before the daydreaming, was it just like blank or white noise happening. Have always been curious what my friend's minds do as I feel like every waking minute my mind goes to another world.
greyartist said:I think it depends on how maladaptive a person's DDing is. It can be a simple escape from boredom, normal people DD when they're bored. But for those with severe MD it doesn't matter how exciting your life may be, the dreams over power you anyway, even when you are not bored. My perspective is different then most because I did not start DDing at a young age. Something went wrong in my brain in April of 2011. And the "default network" has not shut off since. So I remember what it was like not to DD excessively, and I didn't "develop" the habit. It was forced on me.
Well before MD I would think about normal daily activities, work, family, etc. I didn't daydream or at least I didn't fantasize. Just normal stuff like replaying a conversation and what I wish I had said or thinking about what I'm going to do on vacation. That sort of thing. Not this whole world of people, places, my other life. It won't stop. I am always IN a DD, unless something pulls me out by getting my attention. But it won't last long, then the DD comes back.
I believe it was due to menopause hormone issues. It came along with anxiety, depression, and hot flashes. Estrigine has helped with all but the MD.
Could be that the MDer is not happy with themselves. A lot of folks get bogged down with frustration because of the way other people are. People can't change other people, they can only change themselves. If you are waiting for the world to change, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration.
I think reality gets blamed for being boring an unworthy of attention when it is really the individual who is misdirecting their dissatisfaction with themselves. There are countless variations of the saying, "If you think the whole world stinks, you should check yourself. Maybe you are the one smelling up the world for everyone else."
That sounds harsh, but is it really more harsh than saying reality is unworthy of your attention?
I've been DD since grade school. It was to a form of escape during childhood, but going into adulthood I used it to put myself in situations that I found interesting or intriguing. Then, I play these scenarios out in my mind and the story lines continue much like a soap opera with the same central characters.
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