Where wild minds come to rest
There is a huge part of my depression, and MDD, that is so hard and shamful for me to talk about. I havent even brought it up to my therapist yet. Ive tried, but i dont think she gets it. I hope no one reading this will, think im disgusting and weird. But i would really like to know if anyone else struggles with this.
With both depression and MDD, people talk a lot about being traped, and lack of motivation. With these symptoms, i have always struggled with hygeien and cleaning. I was always the smelly kid in school no one wanted to sit next to. I had a dentist write a letter to my parenst concerned about my health. Being mad fun of, and embaressed, still isnt enough to properly take care of myself. Of course anyone with clinical depression knows that hitting an all time low in life, isnt enough. So what is? What will it take?
Brushing my teeth, showering, whereing clean clothes, or cleaning my room. These things are SO hard for me to do. why? i dont understand why the simplest things are the hardest for me. Im 22 years old and i still have these problems. It wasnt just something i would grow out of, or figure out.
In all honesty, i have trouble doing anything and absolutley everything. But these things create a whole other set of problems and shamefulness. Where does it end? Am i alone here? or does anyone else struggle with this? If so, what helps with motivation?