i dont undersand

[Sky with Diamonds]

I'm suppose to be writing a paper that is due in the morning. But for some reason, I cant. There is some reason I am afraid to, and I don't know why. Especially because I know that the consequences are much worse than staying up all night to write this paper. Something ive always known about me is that hitting rock bottom isn't enough. I don't know what is. And that scares me. Im so desperate for change. I don't know why it is SO INCREDIBLY hard for me to do things that I even want to do. I don't know why I cant just write this paper. Ive been thinking about it for weeks. And its been on the back of my mind every day. So why cant I do it? ive been this way for as long as I can remember. I talked a little bit about it in my last post about hygiene. I have no idea why I create this complicated life for myself. Im living in my own hell, and I don't know how to get out.

[Aquarius]

Its called panicking. Panicking because the topic is actually difficult/ boring. Or you just dont feel like doing it , coz you know its so boring and there's a lot of marks/grades riding on that one paper which affect your grade which in turn will affect graduation... You get the picture.

Let me say it for it. You might not write it too well, it might just be outright crappy stuff. Who cares buddy. Its just a paper. Kendall Jenner isnt going to be reading it, nor is Kanye West, and Kim Kardashian would be surprised you are letting something oh so boring get to you.

Take a chill pill buddy, and just scribble something. And play some Kanye music while you are doing it. Coz YOLO :-)