Things have apparently gone further downhill

[Source]

After finishing my latest reply to Eretaia's giant 4-part post, I went to read my first ever post on this site, just for the heck of it. I think I'm a bit shocked by how low I have sunk since then.

Here I was, a couple of minutes ago, expecting to find childish ranting and general bulls- like usually happens when I read my old posts. Now I think I really need to do something. So what is that something, you may wonder.

Oh, that's the fun part. How about a guessing contest?

I had to be recently reminded of what a nice bowl of broken spaghetti my mind has become, only to find out that I had written a complete list of all aspects of my wretched condition myself, more than a year ago. "Knowledge is always useful." is the last sentence in that post. Well said, kiddo, damn well said. It sure enough helped me realize that I've been further blinded in the meantime.

Such fascinating irony. I'm always so damn quick to despise my past self because of his lack of experience, and I just basically told myself across time, that I was wiser then than I am now.

My daydreams probably reflect this. Their content has evolved and changed dramatically, and they've become frighteningly intricate and detailed. Detailed enough that there's a dominant one now, that I've started to write down in the form of a story.

There isn't much more to be said at this point, find that post if you want to know the details. Past Source can tell you more than I can. First post, November 2014, you can't miss it.

PS: Eretaia, I know this contradicts my answer, but the edit time window had already expired. Besides, throwing this here prevents your post from getting cluttered with my inconsistent rambling.

[Source]

I didn't really get your point with that underlined part, what did you mean?
My calculations are an attempt to find out as much as possible about the 'void', so that I can know its source, and destroy it. But honestly, I'm just wasting my time walking in circles. I already know all the answers, my 2014 post contains almost all of them, they're just uncomfortable to think about so I do nothing. It's contradictory, you might think it's stupid, but would you like it if you were reminded of being a weak minded idiot instead of being left alone in a place where you can be more?

[I was]

Hey there! How's it going? I bet you are not in a jolly mood. I read your past posts and those on erataia's discussion. I don't speak your language and maybe that's why it's that I'm having trouble taking it all in. All the rationalities, all the calculations what good are they? What does your logic arise out of and what does it amount to? It arises out of your intuition and sinks into it adding to the big sea of intuition yet another drop. If you can't percieve it altogether you are just looking at a big picture one pixel at a time and it ceases to be a picture anymore.

Do you agree with the underlined statement, even partially, or do you detest it? Does it cause a sudden turmoil! and angst! or you're just like meh! Please Do answer I want to know.