Where wild minds come to rest
Happy new year, everyone!!! :D
Double celebration for me: one month since I escaped MD!
I am still confused sometimes: it feels like having a wall at the back of my brain, that doesn't let me think clearly. And when I say "I feel" it's not a metaphor, it feels solid and has been bugging me for years. I even wondered if it is a brain problem. But, recently, there are moments when this block is lifted and, suddenly, reality becomes interesting. My brain functions on a whole new level at these moments, and I feel free, I feel I'm my real self. It's like these crazy power-ups the hero gains at the end of the movie, for no apparent reason!
A really strange phenomenon, isn't it? Have you ever felt anything like this?
My guess is, the "wall" is anxiety-based and has roots in the subconscious. The "real self" I remember (it's been 16 years...) was diffrent from most people even before MD. I could have "locked" it for this reason, burried it under the daydream. What a treasure to recover, really! I've always thought DD was my treasure, but I keep finding valuable things that were hidden beneath it. Let's hope I'll be able to unroot the "wall" permanently. Following my dreams, but not running away from reality anymore, is what seems to make all the diffrence in the world.