Now and Zen

[Julie]

3 weeks without (excessive) day-dreaming. Irritation and fustration have gone and my mind is very peaceful. I don't believe in this buddism propaganda but Zen Garden descibes my state of mind now perfectly. Maybe, I should dig into it. What happened after 3 weeks of dreaming detox:

 

(1) I moved to a beautiful place near Warsaw, called Ząbki, and it's a paradise of earth. In last 2 days I had to check, if I'm in a lucid dream state or not because it was so fantastic. Well, maybe, it's not the paradise but it looks so for me. I live near the forrest and hear the birds singing but I also hear the cars, so it has a parfect harmony of nature and insfrastructure. It's outside the capital city, so if one wants he / she can get detached from the world to rest but it takes less than 30 minutes by car / public transport to get to the centre of Warsaw and live the full life. It's neither rich, nor poor, a very solid middle class place. Walking near the forrest yesterday, I started to feel like in Zen Garden, my mind first got empty and then so strangely peaceful and confident, maybe, this is my magic place. I'm so happy I found it. I'm so happy, I finally notices how good it is.

 

(2) I started to like the music I never liked before. Slow, blissful and peaceful, like Yael Naim, Nouvelle Vague, Robert Plant's solo period, Brian Eno. It makes me confident. Maybe, my mind has opened to different music, not just power chords, to which I got addicted because they put me into day-dreaming state.

 

(3) I was day-dreaming yesterday but it was DIFFERENT kind of day-dreams. I was there and I had the body (my day-dreaing usually lacked the body, so I was a kind of ghost). I was me, real me, maybe a bit idealized but I can be like this in 2-3 years if I improve a little bit. I saw myself running a marathon, making jewelery, travelling to Japan, having a family. And it was perfect. It wasn't even a dream, just a visualisation. So, I'm moving to a goal setting stage now and we'll see, how it goes.