Need to get back into my self

[Ellen]

I have been daydreaming a lot in the past few days- my old, usual daydreams based on fictional characters and fictional situations.  I haven't focused much on these daydreams in the past few months because I have been preoccupied with other things, but some old triggers came up recently, bringing these to the forefront of my mind.  

In some ways, it is nice to get back into the good old simple daydreams, where the events and characters have little connection to the things that happen in my real life.  Unlike my more realistic daydreams, these don't bring up personal wounds and leave me longing for unlikely future events.  Fiction allows me to escape to a world where roller-coaster emotions can be kept at arm's length.  At the same time, the deeper I sink into my make-believe world, the more I feel disconnected with reality.  I walk down the hall daydreaming, and suddenly I feel as if I am not myself.  I imagine one of my characters walking down the same hall, living my life, almost in my body.  Weird, because many of my favorite characters are male and quite a bit different from me.  But the more I dwell on them, imagining what is going on in their minds, the more my mind seems to slip into their lives, their minds.

Whoa, come back, oh my mind!  Look, here you are, in the twenty-first century, USA, standing in a dorm room, needing to work on homework for your favorite class.  Look in the mirror, you are a beautiful young woman.  You are not a man, you are not a warrior, you don't have secret powers or a cool accent.  You are yourself.  Don't drift away.

[Angel]

Sometimes we need that total escapism to be someone totally different from ourselves.  When you got to the part about walking down the hall it sounded so familiar.  Sure this isn't my blog?  No, your guy is a warrior, mine is a mage!