Hey, Everyone.  I just wanted to give you all an update and perhaps some encouragement.  When I started this site back in 2009, my daydreaming was way out of control.  I was doing it all the time.  I would spend hours lying around daydreaming, and it would keep me up all night.  It didn't help that I had Insomnia, and it made my Insomnia worse.  I would daydream throughout the day, while I was doing everything.  

I was so ashamed growing up.  For me, it became out of control when I was a small child, and it only got worse with the abusive environment that I lived in.  I don't think that's what caused it, but I'm sure it made it worse.  When I found out that it had a name in 2009 and agreed to put my name and face on it, I forced myself to live openly.  Not only do I not hide it, but I tell everyone who will listen.  It's very liberating not to hide anymore.  I accept my MD and all my other issues (there are many).  I'm sure this was a key step in my recovery.

Now, 5 years later, I'm proud to say that my MD is better.  I've learned that trying to force and guilt myself into stopping always made it worse.  It NEVER helped.  I had to stop feeling ashamed of it and accept it as part of me.  It was an addiction for me, but there are so many worse addictions.  The only person it hurt was me, and making myself feel bad about it only made it worse.  I've become very close with one of the researchers, Dr. Cynthia Schupak, and both she and my therapist think that I shouldn't try to stop completely.  They feel that controlling it is a better goal.  My daydreaming ebbs and flows.  It gets worse when I find a really interesting story line, but that's okay.  I just go with the flow and allow myself to be interested in it.  It gets better when I'm bored of my story lines and find other things I enjoy like reading or watching DVDs.  

Getting through university was a huge struggle.  As many of you know, it's really hard to focus with MD, but don't give up.  It can be done.  Once again, panicking and making myself feel bad only made it worse.  Instead, I chose to accept that it would take me a lot longer to get things done.  If it took me all day to write a 1-page paper, so be it.  I would write as much as I could, get up, daydream, sit back down, and try again until I got it done.  I also have anxiety and was completely honest with all my professors about all my issues.  This didn't always work, but it did more often than not.  When I found out, during my last year, that I would have to do presentations in all my classes, I immediately started to have a panic attack.  However, I found that the solution was simple honesty.  I sent them all a carefully-worded email explaining the severity of my anxiety and that I just couldn't do the presentations.  I asked if I could do something else instead and said I would be willing to work as hard as I could.  To my surprise, they all said that was fine.  In one of my classes, we had to do weekly papers based on our reading, and I fell behind right away, so I asked my professor if I could turn it in late.  I was honest and simply told her that I was overwhelmed and needed help.  She was totally fine with it.  After I turned in my first paper late and asked if I could turn in my next paper late, she sweetly said that my papers were so good that they were worth waiting for.  I don't think I ever turned in a paper on time in that class, and she was perfectly fine with it because I was honest with her.  In the end, I got my degree.

Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long.  I just wanted to let you know how things are going and that they can get better.  I know how hard it can be at times.  I've been through the worst of it and come out on the other side.  My MD is not gone, but it no longer controls my life.  

Thanks for reading.  

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Comment by The1andonlyAbber on July 19, 2014 at 5:37am
Yay! :-D
Comment by Jenny on July 18, 2014 at 4:36am

I am glad things are getting better for you!

Comment by Sally Jumper on July 11, 2014 at 12:13pm

I am so happy to have stumbled across this site. Like you, I have struggled for years trying to make myself be in the world, and felt alone and isolated, even in a group of friends, because sometimes I can't snap out of it. I still feel lost, but I am glad that I am not alone, and that there are other people who are willing to open up about maladaptive daydreaming. It is very reassuring to learn that you got through college. I am struggling with that now. I changed my major from literature to chemistry, just because chemistry was the least fictional thing I could think of, and I set out to solve all the mysteries of the real world around me. I am glad I did now, because it is interesting and I like learning about it, but sometimes I struggle with the long, calculus and physics based concepts. It is just so hard to concentrate. But I keep chipping away at it, and somehow, I am managing to get through. I hope I can get to where you are now. I don't want MD to control my life and influence my emotions anymore.

Comment by K.M.R. on July 10, 2014 at 8:55am

Wow I'm so happy for you good job! I hope one day I can get to where you are. :)

Comment by Iris on July 10, 2014 at 1:04am

I'm so happy for you! I've made the same experience over the years, that forcing to stop and feeling guilty isn't any help at all - it even makes things worse.

When you started this web-site, it was not only a help for you, to be so open with your MD, but especially for all the members that joined and, like me, found that they are not the only ones with these thoughts. For me it was a great relief, I can't stop saying this again and again. It helped me to be more relaxed with my MD.

Big and many thanks!

 

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