Moving On

[Angel]

At least I think so... I was feeling a little better yesterday and even better today.  Talking to people has helped.  Both the Prosecuting Attorney and a lady from the Resource Center told me that I can still file a report with the police, if anyone else reports that she sexually abused them my report could help their case.  Of course its highly possible nothing could come of it.  But at least I did something.  And the Resource Center is going to have an advocate help me file the report, which is really nice.

 

My fiance has been a big help too.  He helped me see how focused that I was on "justice" that it was more like I was looking for "revenge" and how I was devastated when I couldn't get it.  He was right.  I just wanted her to hurt in some way.  It would be self-destructive to continue like this.

 

The lady from the Resource Center said some things that I never heard anyone say before (nor had I read any where either.)  About abuse from women abusers.  She knew without me having to tell, some of the things I had experienced.  It felt validating.  Something lifted.

 

To the future...

My fiance and I are moving in together at the end of September.  We are both getting excited about it.  I'm already wondering if I should start packing now, since I take so long and have a bad habit of procrastinating.  How do you break that?

 

I'm thinking about art again.  Dolorean asked on one of my other blog posts "What talent would you like to develop?"  I answered with my artistic talents, perhaps trying out sculpting/ceramics or stained glass.  Don't have the money to put towards either of those right now.  But I do have drawing, painting, and beading supplies in my art box along with some of my old artwork and a poem I wrote when I was 19.  It reminded me that I used to consider myself an artist.  Used to.  Really?  Is that artist still in there?  What about my video game modding, is that not art?  So yes I must still be an artist.  I'm going to dig into that box of supplies and see what I can do!

 

Maybe I can ask Vincent, my character, for some tips.  After all one of his talents is painting.  :D