I saw my therapist today, and told him about this... !

It went very well.  I had trouble getting a moment to include it in my session, as we tend to intermingle other things-- my ptsd list rundown, then the job prospect, current little assignments I do weekly.  Finally with 15 minutes left I squeezed it in. 

He knew what I was talking about, said the "maladaptive part" is based on perspective!  He mentioned how almost everyone does it.  But, not everyone continues past childhood or even thinks of it as anything other than a few seconds daily and it really is just another form the of "id, ego, and super-ego..." the alter-ego.  He believes it's very healthy, and says if it didn't exist, why would someone like Stephen King have any success.  He said a lot of other things, it was so comforting-- he does it, but not very often, just occasion to toot his own horn and snap back!

He also mentioned to check out the old movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" which is about a daydreamer who apparently gets his fantasy "life" come real by some means.  So it's really not that mysterious, it's just not talked about or thought about by many. I suppose for US, we utilize it so much, it's inevitable to question it's importance or potential effect on our lives.  

I asked him what to do with it, he said, "think of it as expression, but the sad part is you keep it contained-- you need to shift it's energy elsewhere."  So my next project is to... write a book! LOL!

I will actually stick to it. Since my 3 days strong without doing it, it was icky and I gave in at night-- but didn't commit to drinking or anything as I usually do, just light talk and what not.  He also said it's related to depersonalization, or disassociation... damn I forget which.  (I know they are similar.)  

Anyway, that was what I learned from the smartest guy I know, and most trusted person I know... who is also my most successful (and now, long-term) therapist.  Just thought I'd share.  I'm sure I fudged some of his information, but it's hard to remember a 60 minute session hours later!  

As for our confidence and lonely problems, I guess that's where we have to learn to break out of our comfort and just try to enjoy real people. HOWEVER BORING!  Who knows there, I like this escapism when I can moderate my alter-ego's poisons of choice!  But I let that get wild sometimes and it's put a burden.  I suppose the fantasy isn't the problem, it's how I choose to party with it! lol. 

I may edit this if I recall anything else.  Again, my brain has been all over and I've felt lousy so I may recall things later. I apologize for the unorganized rant this has become! 

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Comment by Brandy AZ Chase on December 5, 2012 at 10:25pm

actaully that part scared me a lot in Harry Potter... made me think my life of daydreaming was worthless and not productive.....  but I saw what they meant by it that real life shouldn't be second rate to daydreams. There are real people out there willing to love us and live with us even with our strange gifts.


I'm so happy for you that your therepist understood you.  That is a rare person. When I tried to tenitively note that I have a big imagination and powerful daydreams, mine just looked at me sharply for a moment and asked if I ever couldnt associate between the two, which has never happened to me really. So I said no and she shrugged and said it's healthy and normal.  But deep in my head i was saying, no, no it isn't, but I didn't want to discuss it deeper with her since although she seemed caring she didn't seem to know about it or understand MD.


It seems your therepist will help you discover yourself deeper the more you describe your MD journey to him. Very cool.

Comment by Eretaia on September 14, 2012 at 12:24am

wanderer, that's actually a bloody powerful metaphor! I know that scene very well. I remember Dumbledore saying how many have gone mad in front of it, lmao. He also said:

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."
Comment by Amber on September 13, 2012 at 12:29pm

I know I am new here but you had mentioned something I wanted to leave a comment on.

You said that you wanted to write a book? I honestly cant imagine a better way to use this, whatever you want to call it because its not a disorder to its full potential. That's what I did and it's the greatest decision i ever made in my life :)

Have fun and enjoy the writing process!



Comment by Eretaia on September 13, 2012 at 5:43am

Well done! Did he consider it a serious problem?

Anyways, yes, normal daydreaming is healthy, it fuels creativity and everyone does it, but come on, is the way we daydream normal? It's excessive, obsessive, addictive, counterproductive and a substitute for reality. It's like alcohol. You can drink one glass of vine every night; it's good for your health, it'll relax you or maybe even motivate you. On the other hand, if you drink 7 liters of alcohol every day of your life, how normal is that? It gives you temporal pleasure but in exchange screws your health, your life, your motivation, your relationships, makes you miserable, makes you irresponsible, depressed if left without it and so on. Heck, I used to spend 8 hours a day fantasizing, I got emotionally attached to the characters from my daydreams, my dreamworld interferes with my identity and is the only place where I feel intense emotions while in real life nothing gets me emotional.

However, he did give a good advice - we do have to shift and channel the energy which we otherwise keep bottled up, but it's not that easy. The sad part really is that our fantasies are autistic. They only make sense for you, they are projections of your subconscious yearnings or fears and you can't break away from them that easily, however I believe the solution does lie in sharing them with others but our way of expression is far more sophisticated. 

Oh, there's a Walter Mitty syndrome describing people who live a highly adventurous and heroic life in their fantasy world while in real life they're unaccomplished individuals, though it tends to be more delusional. But your therapist did get the point excellently.

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