Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I have been gone for a while... I did start that new job, and in the beginning it was great as I was so consumed by learning new tasks and staying alert-- I didn't daydream much! Then, it kicked right back in and I was also on 'side alert' to make sure no one would catch me!
It really made me realize how crazy this really could be to the average person!
I haven't been able to see my therapist for a while though, as right now I'm in the 90 day period of my job where I'm without insurance, and sadly that appt. for 1 hour would be around $180 which is a nice chunk of my paycheck! It's almost 2 full months without his insight and of course, its' always very helpful.
Anyway, I did try writing, but I'm thinking other general problems made it difficult for me. The one night I had awful wrist pain, so I took this silly tramadol (which helps) but it gave me such insomnia. I began reading one of my favorite books, yet again, for inspiration, and I had that "so tired" but can't sleep issues, so in my head I was talking out what I wanted to write. It was truly good stuff. Finally I said, enough wasting 1000 words of quality text, I got my laptop and began to type.
It vanished. =( I was so ticked off I almost deleted what I did write. Anyway, I'm partial to non-fiction, I almost completely hate novels, and how many of you mentioned Harry Potter was strange, because I've never even seen the movies! I read the first book in say, 8th or 9th grade, but wasn't interested in the least. (My bad!)
It is so strange how I dislike fantasy but I live in a fantasy world, rofl. It really is! I like RIDICULOUS but I don't like fantasy one bit. Who knows.
Anyway, I need to get creepin' everyone's posts.
As a last note. My new job is productive, but killing my hands and it's terribly boring. My... once again genius therapist... said, "It's going to get boring. You will get bored. You're the creative type." I always said no because I have high anxiety, I take a long time to get into a groove-- routines and stuff are hard for me to learn down pat, blah blah.
But, I did get used to this job, and again I have wrist problems and it's working in a distribution facility. You sticker items, and put them on a conveyor belt. ALL DAY. It's fairly simple, but so disconnected. I'm so bored. I guess I am the creative type. Anyway, I contacted my job coach to tell him (and her, there are two) about my disdain, but appreciation for the opportunity.
We had a nice discussion, and he said, "If you could have any job-- any job at all, what would it be?"
So cliche, but it hit a note. And I told him the truth, my family does not know, I have only told a very select few friends.
I'd love to be an actor... which seems like common sense for most of us. Many of us have our 'other selves' (alter egos, WHATEVER) as a celebrity of sorts.
I would love to be in wacky comedies or those stupid, campy horror films. Nothing of real merit, straight up ridiculous films you don't watch with the family. Haha.
He actually said he can help me get a porfolio going, but of course, I know it's a long shot. I may not be perfect but I'm not aiming for it. Just where I live makes this even harder. I'm in rural no where and well, I haven't even told anyone. They'll think I am nuts!
But, I guess it's kinda true. =P