Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Greetings folks!

I tried so hard. So hard to take an internet sabbatical, apparently not hard enough. I tried and I failed. Just like the last time. I try not to come here, I try and I fail. I see myself hurting my chances to a better future and yet I don't act. My existential crises in the bus rides home are so fucking short-lived, as soon as I come home, I waste time, even more time. I daydream while sitting at my desk, "10 minutes only, maybe, maybe I'll get the motivation from my daydream! I am what I want to be!", 10 minutes become 20, 30... My open books stare at me, and I at them.

I feel like such a hypocrite. Giving out free advice! "Limit thy distractions!" Well, take a look! Wasted 6 hours on the internet! 

But this feels so WRONG! I imagined myself as this cold-ass dude, but I can't get rid of the fucking internet. I wake up late, sleep early and I waste the time in between. And I loathe myself. I am a bitter person.

The internet and all the feeling of connection that it brings into my utterly lonely life, stands between me and this beast, actually no, it stands between me and the armoury; the beast is beside me, laughing at my helplessness. I feel powerless.

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Comment by Kal on March 13, 2017 at 1:12pm

Thanks guys!

Comment by maro on March 9, 2017 at 6:20am

Great *_* if that change was strong u may not even go back

Comment by OMW on March 9, 2017 at 4:45am

What worked for me was firstly to find a purpose to my life. I started by joining a gym and rowing team. Then I met my calling in ministry. It gives me purpose and hope for a better future. To live daily, to be present in real life situations, to converse with real people. Not to run to a daydream when things get tough, when I need to be comforted. IT was not easy but I am nearly there. 80% of my day was used up to go to another world, now maybe only 1 to 5% of the day.

Comment by OMW on March 9, 2017 at 4:40am

I agree it does destroy. It eats your life away. I did this for 39 years of my life I started when I was 5, I was 44 when I gave it up. Most of my life gone.......on day dreams.

Comment by maro on March 9, 2017 at 4:23am

you may need some help there is a blog about stopping DD hhttp://https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/guide/

take a look ...Try different thing (12 steps maybe) ...search deep 

I know you didnt mention to stop DD but you have to do it before finding a balance ... U should not leave it take the control or it will destroy your future...try to stop it see a clear picture of what you want 

Comment by OMW on March 9, 2017 at 2:40am

I am feeling the same way but about 18 months ago, I didnt see this as a waste. I didnt even see this as anything except wiling time away. Today I am cognisant of every moment wasted to dreaming whereas I could be living. I dont allow myself the shame of wasted time anymore. But I so deeply understand what you are going through and that feeling of utter hopelessness it brings.

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