Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Today i went to the mall alone. Usually when I want to go to the mall I’ll ask my nana because i dont feel like I can go in store that I want to go in when im with a friend. but today i went by myself. It was a pretty successful day if you ask me. I got ready and im wearing alot more eyeliner than i usually wear…but ive been wanting to change up my look to maybe make me feel a bit better about myself. I didnt know what to wear…..i went though my shirts and found my Peter Pan shirt and i said to myself “should i wear this? that would be weird. ok” .
I brought $40 and $40 dollars of american money that I was planning on exchanging. The weird thing was I didnt tell anyone where I was going. i was home alone, and I didnt even bother to call my mom and tell her i was going to the mall. I thought It would be awkward when she said “who are you going with?” and Id awkwardly have to say “…im going alone”. Then she might freak and be like “no youre not going alone, something could happen” or something. Not like anyone gets kidnapped around here ( I live in some town no ones heard of in Ontario…blah).
Anyway, I went on the bus and I listened to music and daydreamed most of the way there (and doing alot of people-watching..). When I was at the mall I exchanged that american money, and then went into HMV to look at CDs. Then i went into EB games to lok for a used copy of Black Ops….they only had used MW2. Then i went into Claires and I bought makeup brushes-like i said, Im attempting to change my apperance a bit.
This whoIe trip I was listening to music and daydreaming while walking around…i mean how could I not? Im alone and listening to music. I might as well. went into chapters and decided to look at books….I never read before but ever since I started read L.A candy by lauren Conrad I decided to continue reading. There was this cute kid sitting and reading right beside the shelf i was looking at, for some crazy reason i hoped he’d talk to me or look up, but he was glued to his book. For some reason I was hoping someone would talk to me since i was alone…but it didnt happen. I was looking at music biographies and i had a specific book in mind….i looked..and looked… most of them were of the rolling stones, Bowie, Jim Morrison,pink floyd, ramones…..but there was one copy left of “Neon Angel” by cherie currie. Ive wanted to read this book for SO long but I could never find it. It was at the bottom shelf, hiding in between 2 Pink Floyd books. I bought a drink from the starbucks inside chapters and the cashier said “I love your shirt!”. wow. i was shocked someone would compliment my stupid peter pan shirt. I got my drink and i sat and read for half an hour and when i finished my drink I went to purchase my book. The cashier said “wow, I love your shirt”. really? I always thought people would laugh at this shirt. she started talking about how she loves graphic tees and we were talking about the store i bought the shirt from that isnt in the mall anymore.
After that, I quickly went into the dollar store and I bought this kit thing that came with a spiderman pencil case, pencils, sharpner, and eraser. I donated it to a back to school drive….that was the nicest act of kindness Ive ever done…especially since it was with my own money. if i was with my friend and I was planning on doing that she’d probably say “why spend your money on that when you could by weed”. yeah. After that I caught my bus and read until i Reached my spot.
I actually had fun by myself. I think I had more fun today by myseld than if I asked someone to go with me. I might do this again on Saturday. Having “Me time” outside is so much for fun than laying in my bed with my pajamas on, refreshing all my computer tabs a hundred times.