how can I not care what people think when i judge myself.

[ashlee]

I started reading cherie curries autoiography and...well ill give you a recap of the first couple chapters.
she goes to a david bowie concert and is so inspired she decides not to care what people think. she doesnt want to be shy and blend in anymore, she wanted to stand out and be who she really was.  she goes to school with red/white/blue hair dressed like david bowie, tells off all the bullies in school, dresses how she wants, and when people make fun of her or say something-she feels stronger. 

having that much self confidence.....wow

i care what people think of me too much, i cant even be myself. I hate myself because i dont want to get hurt by people. I hate the way i look and i hate the way i dress and i cant change that. i just turned 17 over a week ago and i feel like i dont know who i am at all. the only place i feel secure is here and my md blog because no one knows what i look like and no one from school knows about it.

i dont know where i am going with this. i just wanted to vent. life really sucks right now.

[Ipod]

Have you tried to think what other people are thinking?

I have, and it takes up loads of time and the conclusions are sometimes right but mostly wrong....So I've tried to give up...... 

[C']

Wherever one goes, there will be people that will criticize him/her for any reason. This is the main characteristic of consumer society. They are like black holes and if one doesn't resist, they'll consume his/her joy of life, personality and the worst: their "dreams". Us people should know, our kind is other than human. Far more advanced and complicated. Don't you guys believe in this theory of mine:"Differences are made by different ones!". You already have been paying  a price for just "being!". At least get whatever you want in return of this price and be whatever you want!