Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
This post is about social anxiety rather than daydreaming, but some of you might be able to identify with it.
I have always suffered from mild social anxiety: shyness, insecurity, reluctance to start conversations, etc.. However, I am usually able to overcome this when I need to. If I really need to talk to someone about something, I can usually force myself to start the conversation, and once the conversation gets going, it isn't that bad.
However, in the past few years since I have started using facebook and email almost on a daily basis, I have discovered that social anxiety can be even more crippling when you couple it with electronic communication. It is very frustrating and hard to understand why I get so freaked about about sending a simple email or facebook message. It usually crops up when I am communicating with someone whose opinion I care about but whom I don't know very well. I am posting about this today because, at the moment, I have at least 4 people who I need to send messages to, and I can't bring myself to do it. Why can't I just do it?!?! Maybe today, since I don't have anything else to do, I will finally sit down and force myself...
I guess this is because email conversations and facebook posts to not require an immediate response. So, it is really easy for me to say I will respond to that email later. Unlike face-to-face conversations, with email it is not enough to just initiate the conversaion and let the it proceed naturally. With online communication, I have to send the first message, wait for the reply to appear in my inbox, and then force myself to step out again by replying to it. Add to this the worry about whether or not I will be understood without the feedback and non-verbal communication you get when you are face-to-face.
So, I don't know why I am writing a post about this. I guess I just felt like to would be helpful to share. Maybe some of you experience similar problems. Maybe now that I've written about it, I can force myself to deal with it. Back to those 4 emails I need to write....