I often doubt how to start blogs, so I decided not to write an introduction to this one and just jump ahead into it. 

I'm struggling a lot lately and I'm feeling hammered by guilt as I'm - again - not able to focus on anything else but my head. I know I have this capacity to let myself be totally submerged into a task, get into it, grind and "wake up" a few hours later, being proud of what I achieved. But it does not seem to work for my job.

I don't often dream up completely new fantasy worlds, I tend to borrow them from existing fiction. Right now, I'm up till my neck in my new character, its original world fluff and it's caused my brain to drop DD bombs in my thought process all the bloody time. What would my character be wearing. History of the world itself, of other characters. As a medical professional I'm totally into all the medical fluff, how the physiology of the alien races work etc. I'm doing a lot of research, surfing wiki's, googling, and at least my storyteller will be pleased with the grasp I'll have on the setting we'll be playing, but I'm not getting paid by my storyteller. *sigh*

Roleplaying is really like DD-crack. I sometimes wonder if, for the good of my head, I better just stop. But on the other hand I know I'll just DD ahead based on something new.

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Comment by The1andonlyAbber on February 2, 2015 at 8:21pm
I tend to think of role playing as just an extension of my daydream.

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