Confusion...

[Sunshine]

I have no idea what i am trying to say and my thoughts will most likely change. All i know is that i am having a hard time with my MDD.

Lately i have been thinking whats the point of living? Whats the point of anything? I know it makes me sound emo or depressed but the strange thing is that i am not and i am normally happy but yet i think these things.

Over the holidays my MDD has gotten worse and i am not proud. I try to stop and do other activities instead but i just don't see the point any more. I don't see the point in anything. I don't even see the point in daydreaming but as it doesn't matter what i do i daydream anyway. :( I don't know what to do... But i am not as bad as i sound i still hang out with my friends and have a great time and try and do my homework. When i am alone it's just so hard to control.

When i daydream i 90% of the time daydream about my favorite show which i have a strange relationship with. I admit it is the anime/manga, Naruto/Naruto Shippuden. I am always in Naruto land and i am obsessed with some of the characters but only in my mind and i would never show it.but i don't even bother watching it any more only if i want to i guess.  But if i am so obsessed with it why ain't i bothered to watch all the eps even when all my friends seem to be crazy about it too (which does not help. Naruto at school and Naruto at home, i am afraid that's what my life is turning into).I have stolen the characters and it's world. I keep telling myself i should watch it because everyone else is and i am obsessed with it in my mind but when i think about it I now enjoy daydreaming with the characters more than watching it.  But i still want to watch it but after i watch it i daydream. It's so confusing... (i am sorry if this makes no sense, my mind is all messed up at the moment.)

And the thing that creeps me out the most is that i have a crush on one of the characters. But i tell myself it's not a crush and i don't love him which is true... yet i have been daydreaming about him for 2 or 3 years now. I have daydreamed about being a lover with the other characters too but it always goes back to HIM. I HATE how i would think all these things about a anime character, i know he is not real and i have 0% chance of getting him (not like i do in real life....i think) and there is no real point of thinking about it either but i do. I hope i meet a REAL guy to replace him with one day. Which makes me think of my fear that i will never meet anyone better than my daydreams... a VERY scary thought.

GRRRRRR!! I don't know what to do with my life! I am young though (14 turning 15) so hopefully it will get better and i can do something with my life.

[Laura Gardiner]

I did the same thing with the movie 'Newsies'.  Totally obsessed.  And I understand what you mean by 'what's the point of living?'  We escape life through daydreams anyway, so why not escape it altogether?  But, I decided to entertain the possibility that life might have some amazing things in store for me.  I've succeeded in overcoming my daydreaming addiction and immersing myself into real life a few times.  And you know what?  There is amazingness to be found.  Even better than daydreams.

[Jenna]

My fandom/obsession is Bleach and Katekyo Hitmen Reborn! 

[Jenna]

Aww some similar feelings,but in my dds I use a character. However when ever I hear someone say or mention how when they were little or how it's wrong to have a crush on a cartoon charter I feel guilty because in a way it's like I do, and it''s hard to explain and embarrassing if you were to tell someone these things. :(