Childhood a daydream?

[Aaron Wolfie]

I don't know why it is, but my Maladaptive Daydreaming seems to have become more active lately. I think there is a good link between it and the events that are going on in my life. I've been having issues with my girlfriend lately and I'm scared about university. I am desperately trying to spend time with my family but sometimes it seems like they aren't fussed to which I'm guessing is fuelling my MD.

Tonight I'm particularly sad. I don't know why I've taken this to heart maybe I'm being over sensitive but for my brothers birthday I got him this game and I was so so desperate to see him play it and spend time watching him and advising him so I could spend some quality time with him before I go off to university. He kept being really reluctant to play it though and I thought maybe he didn't like it which made me feel bad. I kept trying to  encourage him though and big it up and say what a good game it is and I'd love for him to play it and give us some rare time to bond.

I finally got him to play it and not even 5 minutes in he was like oh I can't be asked to learn the controls for this and he gave up. He said the thing is I'm fire and you are water I don't enjoy your games.

I felt my cheeks burning really red. I guess I got embarrassed that It was such a let down and so quickly. He said oh I'll keep playing it though but he didn't I just kind of disappeared downstairs and so did he and that was that. I feel a little alienated from my brother now I craved to spend some bonding times like the good old days where I'd watch him play games and help him solve puzzles it was like we were a team. I feel as I've got older I've just lost touch with everything and everyone. 

My childhood is like a daydream now. It's so far from the modern realm I live in and I can't cope with the change. I'm so so frightened about university and I guess I was trying to claw back at some security. I didn't get it. 

I can't bring myself to accept these big changes right now I'm so scared I seem to be MD'ing more like it's some kind of security blanket. 

I'm scared to let go....

[Lindy Lea Lawrence Wilson]

I think you day dream 'cause your family are jerks. It sounds to me like going off to the University will be what the doctor ordered for you because there you won't have enough time to day dream AND you will meet tons of new people who will be more than happy to become your new family. My family also rejected me. It's them that's the problem, not you. You were the perfect sibling buying him a game and wanting to play with him. He is mean, probably sick in his head with some mental disorder, I would bet and you are healthy because you reached out of your day dreams. He should have helped you, but he didn't. That smacks of an unhealthy family which means it is healthy to day dream in that type of environment. At least YOU'RE not being mean like them.

[Aaron Wolfie]

Thank you all so much for your support :) It has made me realise communication is the biggest thing I really do struggle with. Time to start gaining the courage to speak out :) Thank you all so much x

[New York dancer]

Sounds clear that your MD security blanket is very warm, cuddly and safe right about now. Totally understandable why you'd want to stay in- your troubled so your internal support soldiers are activating around the clock. You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning to find that your house is super cold and the only warm place is your blanket, so you climb back in. Well, that analogy is what's happening in your life right now.  

Now, as much as we all love being wrapped in a blanket this is only going to give us temporary and limited relief. It's not going to solve the issue at hand. Again, if your house was cold you wouldn't tell the blanket to get up and fix the temperature because that's not going to happen. At some point you have to peel out of the blanket, brave the cold and fix the damn heater. 

Now you have a lot of things going on and by all means they need to be addressed with communication. You have issues with your girlfriend, understandable. Go talk to her. Address it and tell her your story. She needs to know what's going on. Healthy relationships need communication to cultivate. Gold rule of life.

You mentioned your anxiety about leaving to a university. I get it, change is hard and starting over can be terrifying. We all been there. You need to talk about this with people you love and care about so they can give you reassurance, support and well deserved encouragement. Confess your fears and anxieties because people do want to help. And if the first person doesn't listen, try someone else and keep trying until you find that one person who will listen. 

As far as your brother is concerned, I can totally ride with you on that. I have a younger brother too and I have been in situations like yours many times over. Sibling dynamics move in high and low frequencies all the time. As of right now your situation with him isn't about the video game its about wanting to connect with him and deep down to feel love. Your scared, anxious and feeling alone, it's only natural to want to gravitate to your sibling for moral support. Your going through a rough patch and that's why you reacted so deeply when he didn't like your game. In the end it wasn't that he rejected your game, it was that you felt he rejected you. 

I understand this because I been on both sides of this kind of situation. Your brother does not know how your really feel. As far as he's concerned, your video game is just boring and that's just it. If you aren't sharing your struggles, how is he going to know your feelings? Is he a psychic mind reader? I'm guessing he's not. lol

Now I'm mindful that having heart to heart talks with siblings can be hard, especially depending on your normal sibling dynamics. You can try to approach him at a different angle like having him pick a video game and you join him- which leads to talking. Or you can try going somewhere you both love to be and slowly begin to chit-chat. If you want to take a direct approach instead then by all means do it. He's your brother and he can't help you if you don't give him a chance to even try. He does love you even if he's acting like weenie.

So in conclusion: Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! I can't stress it enough, please communicate. You already communicated here, now go back to your world and do the same.

*Hugs*

[Iris]

I think you described very well, why we daydream. You had your plans and you imagined how your brother would react, you had the very best intentions, but he didn't react like you wanted. This is the difference to daydreams! In daydreams we have everything under control, there are no misunderstandings, problems will be solved.

Don't be angry with your brother, he reacted honestly, that's good. Maybe you can find another way to spend time with him - maybe he has got an idea.

[Queen Dopamine]

Aww this makes me really sad. You were trying to do a nice thing, bought him a game you thought he might like, and just wanted to spend time with him bonding. I am really sad that he pushed you away and seemed a little ungrateful. He didn't even appreciate the attempt at quality time. You said you were going to help him and show him how to play the game. He could have even watched you play. He didn't have to act like that. I'm really sorry.