Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I was with my therapist today. I tell her about something that happened to me on Monday. The situation could have become dangerous and I was not afraid, not even concerned. I just thought if was funny until I saw her reaction. Then I keep thinking about it. Not what happened on Monday but the fact I have no feeling for what happen in the real word. It is almost like if somebody tells me “you have cancer you are going to dye” or “you just win one million” I could just answer “ho, it sounds interesting”.
The fact is I have been living with this condition for years now. And I am really longing for real feeling. So I read on Wikipedia about apathy but I didn’t feel very clever after that. The fact is I can really feel fear, happiness, sorrow or joy, but only in DD.
Then I thought about something I have read some place. About young men going to doctor because they have problem with erection. They have no physical problem but love to use porno and to masturbate. And the treatment is stop with it and you will have no more problems with your girlfriend. It uses to take 4-6 weeks.
Not that I am a man using porno (I am a woman) but it is about getting used to the wrong trigger. When real life was very tough I used to choose DD. But now is my life quite OK. So I can think it is not about choosing not to DD but choosing real feeling. It may be easier. I Have to give it a try.