Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

A question to all the Mdreamers - why do you think it is so hard to tell smb what we're doing?

Dear Maladoptive Daydreamers, friends, people from all over the world that understand me so well!

I'm really curious why I feel shame when I think about telling My Biggest Secret? It's an important part of my life, I would like to tell it to some closest friends. I don't know why really, I just fell so well with my characters and stories, I'm very happy to have it. I also think about searching for people with MD in my country...

But everytime that I think about it, I understand that I can't say a word. It seems such a shame, I think I would rather shout about masturbating that daydreaming!)

Do you feel the same? Why?

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Comment by Jonathan Eagle on August 1, 2014 at 3:55pm: I think there are several reasons as to why it is difficult to talk about:

1) I wouldn't even know where to start regarding as to how I would describe MD, probably by showing them this website but I know full well that the obvious reaction would be that I'm exaggerating and that it's something I could easily control.

2) The second question they'd probably ask is "what do you daydream about?" Talking about this is like sharing your soul with someone, they'd know your inner most and sometimes darkest desires which would easily scare them off. Be honest, if you have or will tell someone, will you actually tell them of everything you have daydreamed of and for how long?

3) People wouldn't look at you the same way, they just wouldn't. MDs day dream for hours of their life and every time your face makes that blank stare or a sudden smile or laugh, you'll feel self conscious that people watching know your MDing. If there is one thing that breaks the illusion of MD for me, it's other people in the real world.

So there you have my two cents on the matter, frankly I much prefer that nobody knows to my knowledge. Ignorance is bliss in cases of MD.

Comment by Nathaly on July 30, 2014 at 9:55am: Thank you for the answers! I see that everyone has different reasons of keeping a secret. I think I stll keep it because it´s the only place where I am really strong. I´m such an emotional person in the real life that I´m afraid that everyone who knows me has already seen my emotiones and my weeknesses. My second life always helps me when I need it, and if I reveal it, maybe I will feel too vulnerable. As I´ve already wrote in my posts, I´m capable to control daydreaming, except some special moments. So I suppose nobody should see somethig strange about me - I learnt how to hide the fact that I´m in my world.
I decided to keep the secret until the special moment comes.

So glad to know that there are people who understand me. I love WildMinds!!!

Comment by Bonnie on July 30, 2014 at 7:38am: Good for you!!

I'm from South Africa and I am black- Black people where I come from do not even believe one should see a a therapist. So it will take a long time for anyone around me to under MDD. I never feel ashamed to share and I wish I could share about MDD more offen but the fact that where I come from everyone will think I am just being a drama queen turns me off. Being a Christian does not help either because Pastors would just think I am possessed by evil spirits.

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on July 30, 2014 at 7:26am: I was recently friended on facebook by a few old high school classmates. I told 2 of them about MD, and not only did they have no problem with it, but one of them said that after all the horrors she'd experienced in her life, she wished she could do it. I grew up in a really small town with a lot of closed minds, but these people were totally cool with it.

Comment by MatthewR on July 30, 2014 at 7:11am: I guess it feels childish to me. Playing make believe is something you do when you are little, not when you are an adult. When i was at university, I would do it constantly. It's always been a part of my life, and while daydreaming is normal and healthy, i think few people would understand the compulsion to do it, or why we spend hours of every day conjuring stories and characters that we can fantasize about. I think most people would think negatively of us for wasting time. I still haven't told anyone either.

Comment by Bonnie on July 30, 2014 at 6:19am: Good Day

I found out last year about MDD and realised how it nearly killed.

I have told 2 close friends whom I do not even think they took me serious, I feel I don't need to tell anyone anymore because its just a waste of time. People will never understand what we suffer from. I wish I could have people from the group closer to me because they would understand me better.

Comment by Mai Xiong on July 19, 2014 at 6:59pm: I feel I can't tell because of how other may react. Other may judge, mock, and use it against me.

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on July 18, 2014 at 1:46pm: I felt that way for many years. I thought I was nuts and that no one could possibly understand. Then, I learned about it and figured there were others. I found them, and that helped. Sometimes you just have to rip the Band Aid off. You have to choose to be bold and live openly and honestly, regardless of the consequences. I chose to do that, and I feel much better. I refuse to lie about who I am. Sometimes people understand, and sometimes they don't. You have to be true to yourself. There's nothing shameful or bad about this. This is a part of you, and you deserve not to have to hide.