Hi, in my daydreams I envision a totally different life, and I feel that I am no longer satisfied with who I am. Anyone else feel this way or something similar?

[Vitoria]

Hi, in my daydreams I envision a totally different life, and I feel that I am no longer satisfied with who I am. Anyone else feel this way or something similar?

[F J]

Hi guys, I feel a similar way. I feel like I get so much stimulation and excitement as when I daydream I am social and outgoing and a lot is happening, that real life and who I really am becomes boring, uncomfortable and unsatisfying.

It makes me sad because I used to daydream for fun and now I do it to feel things. I am. Lost without it and I don't want to continue living like that. It will be a hard road but I have to stop. I want to find another job, eventually get married and live a normal life. I don't think I can do that while living in a dream world the way I do.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I think I'm a normal person to me. Apparently, to non-family, it seems like I have a personality disorder or behaviour problem. They tend to notice this right away, then give me a hard time about it, getting all critical or one-sided. I've had people slowly or aggressively advance on me, even throw it in my face, like they think I'm a nut. I have Asperger syndrome, and I daydream, which is not a good mixture. So it causes a bout of problems between me and a person, even a group. Before I even enter a social situation, I convince myself that I'll be fine, how bad can it be. Then, first thing that hits them is that I don't listen, and I'm not talkative, and I act like I'm on another planet, like I'm not addressing to what is going on around me. I have trouble with social interaction as well, so they think I'm dumb and unfriendly, with an attitude problem. Things get hot. So my daydreaming gets hot. I suddenly feel like I have this volcano inside of me. I feel so alone, beside myself, and misunderstood. Still, nobody understands what the hell is going on with me. They just think I have issues, and I shouldn't be there. So that's why I have problems making friends. Even if I tried to make friends, we'll begin to argue, because they find something wrong with my ears, my mannerisms, and all the cooky things I do around them, or I won't speak up enough. So they think I'm so quiet and weird. 

I thought I was going to have this lovely and normal future as an adult, but I was wrong. It's a continuum of my childhood, basically. I wanted to have a house, a family and a life. But no—I still live with my parents, struggling to survive in this world. My mom thinks I can't have kids, because I can't take care of myself, let alone, be here on the planet earth. 

[Emilly Carneiro]

🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
Sim, você não é a única.
Eu costumo ficar insatisfeita com minha vida real por que comparo ela com minhas vidas fictícias.
Isso me machuca muito.
Então eu estou tentando analisar oque tem de aventura e conquista nos meus devaneios para incluir na minha vida real. E oque tem na minha aparência fictícia que eu possa incluir na minha aparencia real. Eu não sei se vai funcionar, mas faz sentido e estou testando. só queria que a dor da insatisfação parasse.

[Vitoria]

@Jessica Ballantyne thank you so much for sharing this. It's so tiring to feel this way. Now in August I intend to start therapy, I hope it helps me

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I have envisioned all sorts of lives since I was a young kid. I actually believed there was a possibility aspects of MD would become real. Now that I'm in my late 30's, I've proven myself wrong. Apparently, if you do want to see something, you have to make sure it happens and works out. Fantasizing about it gets you no place. MD used to hold me together, when nothing was going on in my real life. I honestly had no idea who I was about in reality, so my MD life covered for that. After I stopped MD, and looked at my real waking life, "it was so vacant" with no personality. I had no clue who I was at all, and had no memories of any relationship bondings or anything. I spent a majority of time in my cocoon, making up worlds that just weren't there. I go on social media and notice that all my friends and peers have lives, have an idea of who they really are, and they are surrounded by people who Like them. It makes me feel like junk. 

Over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager, my dad gave me this important lecture. He told me that I better socialize, otherwise, I'll just fall into the background and nobody will know who Jessica Ballantyne is. He was right the whole time! I just didn't take him seriously enough. Now I really regret it, and hope it's not too late. 

[Mayo Rojo]

Hello. I feel the same way too... I have suffered from this since it became a problem in high school and only today can I say that the only person who holds the key to my happiness is me. I don't know if I know about you, but my mind is very vicious when I dream, through the MDD I have artificially experienced emotions that in reality I have not yet felt and that, far from seeming incredible, is horrible... Today I must say that I regret That I am at this point I am very lucky since I am finding certain spaces that help me understand the mind and know that what I believe in my head is a lie... We do not want that to happen but we want the sensations that give us it triggers when we think about it, that's the truth and that's why MDD is so addictive. So you choose to be a prisoner of your thoughts and believe all that falsehood or suffer the consequences in the here and now, but live fully You are not alone, but in your fight you are and it is important that you realize that only you can stop this and that reality is what you live and feel, not your imagination.
Sorry for my English. I use a translator.