I have a question
I have difficulty talking to people. Its not that I don't know what to speak. But I can't speak, literally. My heart rate increases and when i speak my voice shivers and i start stammering a lot. Sometimes i even start crying.
I have friends and family, with them i can talk normally. But when someone confronts me or speaks against me, or bullies me, the above mentioned things happen.
And when that incident is over, which means that I am alone, then i start MDing. I can't stop MDing then, i try so hard to stop but fail.
In those MD i would speak against the person, or MD of a whole different scenario where i am 'winning' against that person.
I don't have any control over my mind. It seems like its driving me. It continuously MDs without my permission or desire. I hate it. Earlier I didn't hate it, but now I do.
It feels so small, helpless and miserable. I can't even speak. And I am 22 years old. I don't even have the words to explain this feeling.
So I wanted to ask, that is there anyone who feels like this. Or can help me in any way.