Over 40 days MD free - but I still wasn't happy

[Mils]

I've managed to go over 40 days without MD, but I still wanted to do it. I felt more and more anxious and everything seemed more dull. I finally told my boyfriend about it, and he went digging in Reddit forums to try find me some helpful advice. I joined too. Finally, he sends me a massive post from someone who quit for months. And the main point they made was that balance is more important than quitting. How can you just go back to normal life after living a fantasy? It's so boring. So now I don't stop myself from doing it, I just try to balance it with my real life. Butttt I still managed to overdo it. The other day I did it so much that I got a blood blister or bruise (not sure what it is, but there's a patch of black and blood under my foot) and a lot of blisters. I was limping for a few days. So now I'm just trying to find a balance, and it's trickier than I thought. But now I want to do it less and less, which is good, I think? Well anyways, Wish me luck!

Sorry for the graphic details by the way haha :)

[Martino]

40 days MD free? Damn! Wish I got at least a quarter of your willpower, you're really a strong person if you manage to avoid DD for a such amount of time; I have hard time even to control DD when I'm with my girlfriend; congrats to your boyfriend to search solutions about your DD even on Reddit.

[Mils]

oh my god thank you so much, this comment is really helpful!! thank you :)

[Yukia]

Yup, balance is the goal. You need to welcome daydreaming back into your life eventually. It's not because it's the curse of MD or something like that. Daydreaming is natural. Only 2-4% of people don't have the ability to visualize things in their minds according to Google. Trying to shut it down completely might do more harm than good.

I was also very strict when I was in the final stages of quitting. Like "no headphones or earbuds policy" strict. I refused myself daydreaming even when it was perfectly fine to do so (during a train ride, walking to a coffee shop, just chilling and having nothing to do etc.) I wanted to prove to myself that I don't need stimulators like MD to control my emotions, cope with distress or live a happy life, and I did. That's all the affirmation I needed, and probably many people who went through MD need to get a boost of confidence.

Props to your BF for joining you on your journey!