those moments

that seemed so happy and perfect and true

were less real than my wildest daydreams 

 

for some reason i think this should be comforting in light of what happened. but it's just making me more sad. maybe in time. is it worse if it was always fake or…

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Forget everything I said. Everything positive. I am in the same place as last year. I have 6 papers to finish. Three that need to be done tomorrow, two by tuesday. I want to die. I cannot concentrate on them at all. I am going to fail everything just like last year. I keep telling myself this is the last week, pull it together, unlimited summer fun coming right up. But it won't be the same. Having to tell my parents... they will be so disappointed. They will be mad until I can manage to pay… Continue

I was feeling so positive yesterday. Maybe I can blame it on the weather, feeling the sun's rays is exhilarating. I love walking and walking and daydreaming of course. Any excitement at all causes me to daydream. It's sad really that I cant enjoy happy exciting moments in my own life but instead feel this intense need to daydream up a better scenario. Why isn't what is happening in these moments enough for me... if something is bringing me joy in my real life why can I not just live in that…

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I am so happy I found this site.  I have googled the most unspeakable things, haven't we all? Shock Value Education courtesy of the Wondrous World Wide Web. But to google "I pace uncontrollably in my room daydreaming my life away"... even the safety of my own computer, the deletion of history, of cookies... it rarely even crossed my mind. I am a freak. Google has no answers for me. Procrastinate, daydream, cyber surf.. wait I think I am…

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