Ocean Breeze's Blog (6)

Had an MD breakdown in public

I went grocery shopping after work on Friday, and an MD storyline kicked in.  When I interact with my imaginary friends, I move my mouth like I'm talking with them, but no sound comes out.  So as I was moving my cart around the store, I couldn't stop myself -- I was gesturing and moving my mouth, interacting with my characters.

Fortunately, at first, no one noticed.  People in public don't really pay attention to what's going on around them anymore.  They are all talking on their cell…

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Added by Ocean Breeze on September 9, 2012 at 12:02pm — 3 Comments

Hurling myself out of my comfort zone

I was talking with my mom on the phone yesterday, and during my usual, years-in-the-process, ongoing attempt to sound like everything was fine, I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying.  The shocking part was that my mother wasn't surprised.  She was worried about the fact that I was so isolated and stressed.  And she doesn't even know about the MD part.

She's right.  I need to interact with actual human people more.  I'm spending the day with her tomorrow, and then I'm going to…

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Added by Ocean Breeze on September 2, 2012 at 2:37pm — 6 Comments

Surveying the Damage

Warning … this is kind of dark.  If you’re in a good mood, you may want to skip it.

I received a very nice email from the woman who runs the “Are You Daydreaming Your Life Away” website, after I’d sent her an email thanking her for putting up that site.   She said some things that made me turn around and view the trail I’ve forged in the 43 years of my life.  Maladaptive Daydreaming may sound like a mild disorder, but in my particular case, it has done some serious damage.

She…

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Added by Ocean Breeze on August 30, 2012 at 11:58am — 1 Comment

So much for therapy.

Most therapists in this area only work during regular business hours, and I have a job.  Which doesn't matter because the company I work for just downgraded its health insurance because of cost, and a therapy session will cost me $70 a visit.  I don't have that kind of money.

I need alternatives.

Added by Ocean Breeze on August 25, 2012 at 11:38am — 2 Comments

Giving therapy a shot.

I suspect we all have this problem: MD is just one part of the anxiety-ridden psychological molotov cocktail that makes me so darn special. So over the past few months, the anxiety and stress have gotten worse, which has made the MD worse. 



And because of the MD, I don’t have any friends to talk to, and the isolation just makes it worse. So I’ve been dealing with it by binge eating (I have binge eating disorder as well), and now my clothes are getting tight, and I just read an…

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Added by Ocean Breeze on August 21, 2012 at 4:47pm — 4 Comments

Just a quick intro.

Hello, everyone. I’m very happy to find this site. My MD has turned me into a bit of a hermit, so I need to interact with people who understand exactly what this is like.



I’m in my mid-40s, and I have avoidant personality disorder as well as the MD, and I’m starting to see how those two issues are linked.



I have an administrative job that pays the bills. I don’t want to risk losing my job or facing other repercussions, so I’m going by an anonymous name (no, I didn’t…

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Added by Ocean Breeze on August 19, 2012 at 8:00am — 1 Comment

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