Elīna's Blog – November 2013 Archive (5)

Maybe it's stupid but I'm gonna try ...

It must be a dumb thing to tell yourself that you will start quitting on the 1st day of the month, on the first day of the year etc. but I don't know what else to do. Also it's quite obvious that quitting seems so real because of the fact that I have spent the whole day dancing and DD and I don't have such a strong urge to do it at this moment. But I will soon. I'm determined, but so have I been before, but who knows, maybe this time it WILL work? And if I fail I still got the - "New Years… Continue

Added by Elīna on November 30, 2013 at 11:17am — 4 Comments

Not dancing to MD=not doing anything ...

It looks like a 2 day trip with a close friend and a big bottle of Belgium cherry beer can help me to not DD. Sadly it helps me to not do ANYTHING. I'm not living, I'm  just existing.

Added by Elīna on November 29, 2013 at 11:05am — 5 Comments

I can't last a day ...

I'm going to do it. I just know it. I'm trying to stop, but I know that I won't. I want to fix 2 major problems in my life by imagining that they are ok. I know it won't help, but I just wanna feel good, imagine everything working out smoothly. I don't know how to stop myself. Right now I'm waiting for my phone to charge a littlebit so I could start dancing and DD. I should be learning for my Latin language exam or I might not pass it tomorrow. I need to do my English essay and working…

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Added by Elīna on November 25, 2013 at 11:49am — 6 Comments

I will try again

I have tried many times before to just quit it, at least rule out the part where I do it while dancing to songs, because that is the part that eats my time the most. Just hearing a song and starting to DD or starting even without noise whatsoever isn't that bad, I can make myself stop and even if I can't it still isn't as bad as the dancing. Because when I start that I just can't seem to stop. But I must this time. So ... 1. - I have a life that has great people in it, I must keep up with my… Continue

Added by Elīna on November 24, 2013 at 1:32pm — 4 Comments

Daydreaming even when everything goes right ...

I have tried to stop this for years. I can't take it anymore. Sometimes I do good for a few days, in very good cases for weeks, but then I just snap in one moment, I let myself to do it for just few minutes, it feels so good after a break, but then the  minutes become hours and so on ... The worst thing is that a few years back the only reason why I did this was to escape my miserable life, but now a lot has changed. The worst thing now is that when something really good happens in my life I…

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Added by Elīna on November 24, 2013 at 12:20pm — 2 Comments

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