I probably should have written this when I was actually feeling this, but I'll try my best to explain how I was feeling a few days ago.

Every week or so I have what i call 'self-hatred attacks'. This is where I process my faults, normally my DDing, and start despairing and thinking about all the goals I have which I'm not going to reach (or so I think) because I spent all my time DDing. I convince myself that I will never change and will just waste my potential and end up dying…