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Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

Writing - comments wanted!

I've written the introduction to a story based on a DD that I've just started writing (I haven't got very far and it'll probably be unrecognisable once I've edited it). Here it is. Please comment/leave constructive criticism

When our ancestors first escaped the catastrophe, they fled to the corners of our island, to the North and to the West. Unable to use the roads which the Order controlled, they travelled by sea, and thus the first repopulated towns appeared on the coasts of Scotland and Wales, where only the weakest of wraiths would follow. The inhabitants of these towns comprised of two groups – those whose home had been so remote that they were overlooked by the Order in their march south, or the escapees of the Great Purge. This very town, St Andrews, was one of the most prominent of these settlements, and in accordance with the tradition of remembering the efforts of those who rebuilt our country that we may be stirred to improve it further, I will tell you of life in this town during the first years of this new community through the eyes of some of the children who watched it grow from a chaotic gathering of survivors into the centre of the new Britain.

As you can see, it's written in character, which wasn't an original part of the DD so I still need to work out who the narrator is and who the reader is supposed to be

Thanks for your comments, and

DFTBA

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Comment by Elizabeth Moore on March 7, 2013 at 10:58am: @CretiveWriter I don't intend the narrator to have MD, I want the narrator herself to be a character, relating the past either orally or in a book

Comment by Wish Upon A Wish on March 3, 2013 at 12:50am: That sounds really good! I agree with Hermits, that you could split the last sentence, but besides that it sounds great!

Comment by Hermits United on March 2, 2013 at 3:17pm: I like your style of writing, good choice to be written in character. The last sentence is a bit too long though, I'd make it two or three sentences. Be interested to see more, an explanation of what the Order and Great Purge is perhaps?

Comment by Elizabeth Moore on March 2, 2013 at 6:43am: Thank ye kindly, Elude and Lauren

Comment by Lauren M on March 1, 2013 at 6:36pm: This is an epic prologue. Keep going.