Recently I have been in a very bad place. I have become obsessed with trying to stop daydreaming, all i desire is to daydream yet at the same time i desperately wish to stop. I am at war with myself. 

At this moment in time I am in my student house, where I live with my 'friends'. Locked in my bedroom, in the dark, crying. I have been crying all day. I havent eaten a thing all day and I am starving, I feel sick, I have a terrible headache possibly caused by the  small amount…

I am a mess. I am stuck in a vicious cycle. I cannot live, I cannot cope, I cannot talk to anyone, I cannot get help.

I stop mding for a couple of weeks but in the real world I am completely depressed, I can't imagine anything that could ever make me smile. I can't remember the last time I smiled a smile that wasn't fake. I can't remember how happiness feels. I can only remember a few months of my life when I was happy, years ago. I convinced myself that md was the reason that…