So dizzy in my head right now...deep in depersonalization.  Numbness of my face.  Also a little nausea.  Trying to pinpoint what caused it today but I can't see anything.  I have been daydreaming a bit today but overall it has been ok, laughing and talking with co-workers.  Started about 2 hours ago.  Fairly good mood, less negative thoughts.  Again, just venting.  Thought maybe if I put it on paper I could see things clearer. 

Hard time staying in the outside world and out of the inside world today.  And I've been at work all day.  Good days and bad days. Guess we all have them. 

really hard time focusing today.  kept drifting off back into my inside world. It's odd really.  Alot of my daydreams focus on me being harmed in some way but people are around to care and listen and protect me.  I could go all Freud and say that this is my way of dealing with my childhood feelings of not having anyone to protect me. Sometimes I feel like such a child.  I'm 38 years old. I need to get the freak over it.  Just venting. and ranting.

She has everything in its place, the way it should be.

She has everything just so, the way it is supposed to be.

It all looks right.  No problems here.

Everything decorated with holiday cheer.

She walks the right way

She talks the right way

She laughs on queue

The world is a stage

And she is a star

And she always will be

Because she refuses

To let her fans

Her audience

Down.

She will not…

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