So in one of my earlier entries I had talked about telling my best friend about my MDD.

He was in the hospital for his schizophrenia and was feeling embarrassed so I figured that the timing seemed pretty good, He also had just knocked on my door and "awoke" me from a trance and he noticed that I didn't really see him for a good 5 seconds. My cover was blown.

We talked about his stay in the hospital for awhile and we had a really good bonding talk but I was acting weird and he…

SO for 30yrs I have been hiding this from everyone, not even my best (and only) friend knows.

It can be hard to hide but I don't pace or run as some of you do so I guess that makes it easier to cover up

I tend to smoke twice as much when I md and pot is a important part as well, I find when I smoke a joint it keeps me from standing up randomly and my md adventures are really enhanced by this. (anyone else do this)

I have decided to tell my best friend about what I have…